The New Conservative Bible

I thought it was a joke at first. When Earl Bockenfeld wrote about The Conservative Bible in the comments on the blog, I laughed because I thought he was being funny( Then I saw more stories about it and then more..... oh my god. It's real! But hey it's a free internet and you can do whatever you want.

Funny thing is that most conservative "christians" I know take the bible "literally". (but they really don't, they just think they do) The only thing is that they never quote from the Gospels or anything that sounds too much like looking out for each other or helping the poor. They pick and choose what to believe in and what suits their agenda... it looks like now they want to rewrite the parts that have been previously unusable. Jesus must be rolling his eyeballs. It seems ironic that the very people who supposedly believe that the bible is the exact word of god want to rewrite it and expose the dreaded liberals!

The page at conservapedia reeks of social injustice, selfishness, greed and conceit. I'm one of the over-educated students of theology who studied the greatest scholars and the ancient scholars as well. Perhaps I was a bit conservative when I started my studies and according to my mom, I graduated an "atheist commie" as she put it... but hey, if you take the time to understand what was going on at the time of Jesus both socially and politically and then put the New Testament into context, you can't be anything but a stinking liberal after you study it for real. And furthermore, if you read the 4 Gospels carefully, you will realize that the women were the strongest characters in the narratives, women stuck around while Jesus was crucified and buried and that Jesus Christ himself was a feminist and a socialist. These nutjobs are going to have to erase the Gospels and start over. They should just abandon Christianity and start their own religion of mean spirited cheapskates. Seriously.

From the conservative bible project at conservapedia:

Liberal bias has become the single biggest distortion in modern Bible translations. There are three sources of errors in conveying biblical meaning:

1. lack of precision in the original language, such as terms underdeveloped to convey new concepts introduced by Christ
2. lack of precision in modern language
3. translation bias in converting the original language to the modern one.
4. Of these three sources of errors, the last introduces the largest error, and the biggest component of that error is liberal bias. Large reductions in this error can be attained simply by retranslating the KJV into modern English.[1]

As of 2009, there is no fully conservative translation of the Bible which satisfies the following ten guidelines:

1. Framework against Liberal Bias: providing a strong framework that enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal bias
2. Not Emasculated: avoiding unisex, "gender inclusive" language, and other modern emasculation of Christianity
3. Not Dumbed Down: not dumbing down the reading level, or diluting the intellectual force and logic of Christianity; the NIV is written at only the 7th grade level[3]
4. Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new conservative terms as they develop;[4] defective translations use the word "comrade" three times as often as "volunteer"; similarly, updating words which have a change in meaning, such as "word", "peace", and "miracle".
5. Combat Harmful Addiction: combating addiction by using modern terms for it, such as "gamble" rather than "cast lots";[5] using modern political terms, such as "register" rather than "enroll" for the census
6. Accept the Logic of Hell: applying logic with its full force and effect, as in not denying or downplaying the very real existence of Hell or the Devil.
7. Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning
8. Exclude Later-Inserted Liberal Passages: excluding the later-inserted liberal passages that are not authentic, such as the adulteress story
9. Credit Open-Mindedness of Disciples: crediting open-mindedness, often found in youngsters like the eyewitnesses Mark and John, the authors of two of the Gospels
10. Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness: preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities; prefer concise, consistent use of the word "Lord" rather than "Jehovah" or "Yahweh" or "Lord God."

and this reference is my favorite for [1]

↑ The committee in charge of updating the bestselling version, the NIV, is dominated by professors and higher-educated participants who can be expected to be liberal and feminist in outlook. As a result, the revision and replacement of the NIV will be influenced more by political correctness and other liberal distortions than by genuine examination of the oldest manuscripts. As a result of these political influences, it becomes desirable to develop a conservative translation that can serve, at a minimum, as a bulwark against the liberal manipulation of meaning in future versions.