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Wednesday, December 31

Resolutions, Revelations and Revolutions for the New Year

by Blondesense

Inspired by DCup's post on the year of clean living, I thought I'd write down what I've been planning to do for the new year to improve my life. She did amazingly well in 2008 and I'm proud of her determination.

What I want to do in 2009 is something I should have done 10 years ago but it's never too late to clean up one's act.

First of all, I will quit smoking before my birthday in January. I have to. I got the results of my chest xray and breathing tests recently and it appears to be totally normal. How lucky was that? I think it's time to quit while I'm ahead before I get emphysema and then I'm really screwed. Plus the cost of butts is so expensive that I am going to put my cig money in a piggy bank and use it for new clothes (which pertains to the next point.) The cigarettes at the Indian Res are now expensive too. They got me. I give up.

2. I will go to drastic measures to lose all the weight I put on due to my meds and lack of sufficient or acceptable nookie (see point 3). By hook or by crook, I will not be a fat person this time next year. From the money I will save by not eating so much, I will put it away for a face lift and a singles cruise where I will finally meet a handsome young Prince Charming and will live happily ever after. heh. Okay, I'm a realist... just the face lift or new clothes.

3. I am a social drinker, but I tend to sometimes go overboard . I think it's time to put the beer bottle down once and for all. Beer isn't good for dieters anyway. Going to bars makes me even feel worse about myself. There's something ridiculous and sad about trying to be noticed by a bunch of pissfaced drunks that isn't good for my delicate sensibilities. Not to mention they don't remember who you are the next time you see them. Men in bars aren't thinking with their heads. With the money I save from not drinking like a fish, I will take scuba lessons and travel to exotic places to look at the pretty fishies with my new hot bod sans beer gut.

3a. I am substituting unsweetened ice tea for Diet Pepsi. Sugar and artificial sweeteners are not on my list of healthy foods, in fact I think that perhaps the artificial sweeteners are worse than real sugar.

4. I will give up unhealthy relationships in 2009. My bad luck with friends and relations is written all over my face, my fat butt and my psyche. I can't get the years back ( I do wish I could and if there are any genies out there, contact me) but I can make the future ones better and even if I am all alone for the rest of my life, it will be better than hating myself for enduring relationships that make me feel like shit. So goodbye to bullshitters.

5. But just because I am not eating fast food, drinking beer or smoking and ditching old relationships, it doesn't mean I will be a party pooper. I will have more fun than ever. In fact I plan to travel, go out dancing, ride my bike, sail, swim, scuba dive, learn astrophotography, perform music once again, start a business and have much more sex (even if it is with myself). I am not quitting the weed because I am a musician after all. I will go even blonder to assure that I have more fun.

6. I vow above everything else, to get my sense of humor back and lighten up. It got buried amid all the angst. A good friend of mine has vowed to make at least one stranger a day laugh. I like that and will do that too. I will report monthly on how I'm doing.

A lot of excess baggage will be shed in 2009. I hope you'll join me in saying adios to my bad habits and "buenos dias baby" to my new happy and healthier lifestyle.

Your turn.

And of course, a song to go along with my resolutions. It's Not You, Baby It's Me, By Norah Jones and the Little Willies

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