Join the Army. Make new friends. Kill people.

From Kids Learn that Killing Is Fun at the Army's Lethal New Theme Park

The Army Experience Center, located in the Franklin Mills Mall just north of Philadelphia, bills itself as a "state-of-the-art educational facility that uses interactive simulations and online learning programs to educate visitors about the many careers, training and educational opportunities available in the Army."

Nonsense. The only thing they're teaching here is how to blow shit up. If it's state-of-the-art anything, it's state-of-the-art adolescent boys’ wet dreams.

If was the president, the minimum age for service would be 21. But that's the mom in me speaking.