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Saturday, November 29

How I Spent My Thanksgiving Weekend In a Blue State

By Liz

I spent the holiday weekend at Stephen King's Bed and Breakfast in Maine in a tiny and quaint little town on the seacoast. I met so many lovely people while I was there. Quite a few conspiracy theorists though. I had no idea just how f*cked we really are! They told me so many things I did not know. As a gracious traveler, I simply either agreed with them and added to their horror when I could think of something good to say.

Did you know that currently in San Francisco, there are medical marijuana shops as numerous as Starbucks? And, and, and, the drug pushers are buying pot there and selling it to high school students. Yeppers. I was dumbfounded (and jealous.)

Did you know that Sarah Palin is more qualified to run this country than Bill Clinton was? He was a dumb old hillbilly. Yesiree. It turns out that Gov. Palin was set up by Katie Couric to fail in the interview. Couric is a puppet for the liberal media. Gov. Palin is very smart and you can certainly see Russia from Alaska and that is so the US can keep an eye on them. Sarah is smarter and more qualified than Hillary to run the country too.

I found out that every single thing that ever happened in this country including the economic meltdown and the bombings in Mumbai can be traced back to the Clinton administration. Bill Clinton outed CIA operative Valerie Plame too. I was given specifics but I can't remember them all. So I had to agree with it all and added that the Clinton presidency contributed to Bush's drinking problem.

Do people ask me where I'm from just so that they can say that I'm not a real American? I'm pretty sure I was born here although my birth certificate could have been forged by illegal aliens for all I know. I was reminded on several occasions that NY is NOT the real America. I agreed wholeheartedly of course because I already knew that. I added that here in Gomorrha, we're all gay, Muslims, terrorists, atheists and abortionists who smoke crack. And those were illegal aliens who trampled the man to death at Walmart on Long Island. No one flinched.

But wait, there's more. Obama went to a Muslim high school. He's only 9% white(?). If we don't drill in the ANWR we will never be free of foreign oil. Anything that isn't Clinton's fault, is Pelosi and Reid's fault because they don't let ANYTHING get through congress. They are obstructionists, doncha know? Obama will get rid of all the coal plants in America and will get rid of guns and outlaw bibles too. God help us, we will be wearing Burqas before long.

I politely asked these lovely people where they got all this information that I didn't know and the resounding answer was Fox News because it was fair and balanced. It was strongly suggested that I watch that channel so that I could find out how much trouble we are in. Oh I will. I will! And I thought that only lefties were the conspiracy theorists. Silly me.

The relatives, thank goddess, didn't talk about politics or current events. I just got my earfuls from the locals and travelers staying at the B&B. It's fun traveling to blue states. You have to try it some time!

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