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Friday, July 25

It's Friday, and for those who want Sport ...

... There's Sex!

We open the Obligatory Friday Follies with a minor victory from the State of Alabama. Two years or so ago the state made the sale of sex toys (dildos, vibrators, phalli, etc.) illegal; vendors face a fine of up to $10,000 and jail time.

But there's a loophole which one sex toy store has been quick to exploit: You can sell sex toys in Alabama if it's for medical reasons. So the store offers a medical questionnaire; answering 'yes' once constitutes a medical reason.

So the shop goes about its merry way, helping encourage the spread of orgasms and fun. And the straitlaced fundamentalist asshole killjoys of Alabama can only sit and watch, gnashing their teeth (and wishing deep down that they could have fun too).

It's a well-known fact, almost an axiom, that your friends will screw you over faster and more thoroughly than your enemies ever dreamed. Elliott Tuleja discovered this when he passed out drunk and two of his drinking buddies decided it'd be hilarious to set fire to the sleeping man's crotch.
I'll wait for the obligatory "Great Balls of Fire!" joke to pass.
In our "About Damned Time" Department, 70-year old Lonesome George may finally, after 36 years of trying, manage to become a daddy. See, George is a Galapagos tortoise and the last of his particular species. His long-suffering mate is actually not of his species but the closest genetic match. She finally laid eggs this past week.
A fellow described as a "tall black man" has been arrested in England for serial rape.
A series of attacks in May and June that left several of the usually placid herbivores bowlegged ended in an arrest, and part of the man's bail is the condition that he stay away from sheep farms.
One has to wonder though what he was thinking. "Oh, she came on to me - she was wearing this tight wool sweater ..."
It boggles the mind at times.
Finally, a question for the panel (idea stolen from Pajiba) to be answered in comments:
Where is the weirdest place you've made whoopee? Church, carnival, mother-in-law's house?

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