My family finds my way with door to door solicitors amusing. They told me so. Whatever. I think they are just too lazy to answer the damn door, but the husband insists that he couldn't talk to Jehovah's Witnesses the way that I do- my genuine mix of concern and relief about the last days being nigh. But lo, the latest swarm of solicitors make my heart race a little and I always regret not wearing lipstick and my wonder bra around the house.
Verizon keeps sending cuter and cuter guys to the door each week to sell the all inclusive package of cable TV, phone and internet for a much better deal and quality than Cablevision (which I currently use but am not thrilled with). Fiber optics in MY neighborhood? Wow. I'm sure that their HD is HD'er than what I have now. And more channels too? Faster internet? Oh my God, yes Be still my heart.
"Your services sound fantastic. Will YOU be doing the installation? "
His eyes meet mine. His smile melts my heart. sigh.
Jesus Christ, he is 10 times cuter than the one they sent last week. Those fucking bastards. They shouldn't be messing with middle aged ladies like this. There ought to be a law.
Oh wait. A moment of lucidity.
"I'm sorry but Verizon spies on US citizens with immunity, so I will have to say no."
Damn it. I have nothing to hide, but still... it's the principle.
This angel sent from heaven above doesn't argue with me for his tender eyes tell me that my reason for dismissal is not new to him. I try to tell him with my eyes, that I don't hold it against him personally and that he is more than welcome to stop by anytime when he's not selling Verizon services. ahem.
Oops: White House spokesman admits telecoms spied