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Wednesday, January 30

Florida Fallout

Yes, I'll use the term Fallout, as if the Florida primary were a nuclear weapon whose glowing and hot to the touch debris and by-products rain down on any hapless target downwind from the site of the explosion.

As to the type of weapon, Florida was a neutron bomb, or enhanced radiation weapon. An ERW doesn't cause much physical damage; it just kills people.

But since we're talking elections, the Florida ERW killed campaigns.

The first victim of the radiation was (as you might expect) the oldest and weakest. Rudy Giuliani put all his chips on Florida with the idea of ignoring or bypassing the little contests and reaping a big crop of delegates. However, waiting for Godot in this fashion enabled a lot of people to finally sit back and critically examine the sordid past, fetid Mayoral administration, and strange shenanigans of the Rudy.

With perhaps predictable results. Poor Rudy.

He never won a single contest, in some cases actually losing to Ron Paul.

And today it's widely expected that Giuliani, corneas opaque, skin laced with suppurating lesions and losing what little hair he still has, will shamble up to a microphone and give up what many thought last year was a free ride straight into the White HOuse.

The second victim of the fine rain of fallout, descending as it does like fog, on little cat feet, was John Edwards. Edwards was the former Democratic #2 nominee back in 2004; he'd been in the fight before all the way to the end, which would give him some experience. He was a populist, having a deep empathy for the working poor and those who never saw any benefit from Bush's tax cuts and the rest of his imbecilic economic policies.

But I think that his message was blocked; first by Clinton's greater street cred, bigger reputation and campaign machinery; and by Obama's ability to reach out and touch a chord with people that made them want to join with him to make this country a better place.

As a result he never did better than second, if I recall aright. Even at the debates it was hard for him to get a word in over the two top candidates.

Sad, John.

And now it's being reported that Edwards, his once-mocked hair falling out haphazardly in scattered patches and pus dripping from his still-smiling lips, will go to New Orleans and give up his campaign. But being younger than Rudy, Edwards will revive himself and rally his strength by participating in Habitat for Humanity, helping to rebuild a neighborhood in New Orleans.

Who's next?

Ron Paul's a doctor, so his campaign might cling to life, buttressed by infusions of exotic and powerful drugs;

Alan Keyes - well, he's a walking corpse; he hasn't realized yet that the fallout has killed his chances.

What do you think?

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