I think all those Evangelicals are onto something with their culture war theories. You know, the ones about homosexuals enticing our youths into deviant lifestyles. The gay threat has gotten so bad, now our animals are at risk!
For example, the other night, I went into the bathroom, and as soon as I closed the door and sat down on the commode, I noticed my sweet little cat, Hermione, sliding her paw, pads side up, under the door. It freaked me out! Here she was, my own cat, soliciting me for gay sex! Then, a short while later, while she was eating from her food bowl, I noticed she has developed a wide stance.
What the hell am I going to do? Does anyone know whether there are any of those retraining programs for gay cats? I don't want my sweet little girl to go to hell because of her deviancy. This is a matter of her soul, I tell you!
Geez, she looks so normal.