Search This Blog

Thursday, December 20

Pre-Christmas Democratic Candidate Roundup

As threatened, here's a few remarks concerning the Pack of Hyenas (the Democratic Party candidates for President) before I take a break from campaign politics. There are fewer to pick on than the GOP, mainly because the GOP field is spread far and wide (narrowing only slightly after Tancredo drops out) and ideologically fractured, while the Democratic pack is bunched up and much more homogeneous.

Yes indeed; nip and tuck, cheek by jowl, thigh and buttock, you couldn't get a melon between them:

1. Hillary Clinton.
If you listen to the polls, Mrs. Inevitable has slipped somewhat. She still has good ideas, but needs to develop them a bit more and be less reliant on opinion polls and focus groups. Details, lady, details! Oh, and as I pointed out in an earlier post ("Why Bill Clinton Should STFU"), if Hillary's managed to have the strength to put up with Bill's shenanigans, she certainly has the strength to stand on her own two feet and fight her own battles. I know that the idea of a strong, assertive woman sends sexually insecure men like Chris Matthews into fear-fueled rages, but screw him.

2. Barack Obama.
Again, if you listen to the polls, Obama has managed to whittle away support from Hillary and from John Edwards. Expect more attack ads from the others regarding his first and middle names, and where he went to grade school. I can almost hear the word "uppity" when his name is mentioned on Fox News, or among the tiny-brained and big-mouthed people in my community and workplace. Obama has some ideas, but since he's angling for much the same votes as Clinton, the two sets of ideas are rather similar.

3. John Edwards.
The resident Village Idiot on MSNBC, Tucker "Behold My Manly Bow Tie" Carlson, castigated Edwards' Christmas ad for talking about homeless veterans and the poor. Well, Tucker you fucker, I thought that was one of the things Jesus liked to talk about - how nice it would be if we cared for the poor and less fortunate. Scumbag. I hope MSNBC fires your sorry ass soon.

4. Bill Richardson.
Governor Richardson struggles along, still hoping people will take him seriously. Not a big name, but based on his resume he's the best qualified of all the candidates from both parties. A recent NPR story followed him as he courted the rural Iowa voters, talking up his NRA membership and the need to look after the nation's farmers.

5. Dennis Kucinich.
First, my condolences on the death of his brother; second, props go out to him for repeatedly making motions to impeach Richard Cheney.
However, his campaign is largely moribund from where I sit. I think he knows this, so like Ron Paul and Mike Gravel he is free to speak his mind. Go for it, Dennis.

No comments: