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Wednesday, August 8

Newt's Novena - 'nine nineties in nine'

"Your Friend Newt" has a website called Americansolutions. I am not going to link it here for obvious reasons, but you can get to it by linking to the usatoday blogs right here:

Newt Gingrich and media critic/former TV reporter Marvin Kalb are joining forces today to urge the Democratic and Republican presidential candidates to sign a pledge saying that if they are their parties' nominees they will take part in nine, 90-minute-long debates in the nine weeks leading up to Election Day 2008.

Gingrich is due to issue the call during a speech at the National Press Club in Washington, D.C. He's scheduled to start talking at 12:30 p.m. ET."

"We believe the 'nine nineties in nine' will give voters a chance to see the candidates in an unfiltered dialogue -- one that is informative, constructive and intelligent without the opportunities degenerating into political point scoring and sloganeering," Gingrich and Kalb write in a letter they're sending to the candidates.

"We believe it will not only be better for the political dialogue that has become so divisive; it will also be better for the future of the country, because it will foster the creation of needed solutions to meet today’s current challenges."

Gingrich, by the way, still hasn't ruled out the possibility that he might join the Republican presidential field. His American Solutions website has much more about his other ideas.

Gingrich was highly critical of previous presidential debates, calling them a "cross between The Bachelor, American Idol, and Who's Smarter than a Fifth Grader? He said American politics has "replaced the machine boss with consultant bosses" and that "the job of the candidate is to raise the money to hire the consultants to do the focus groups to figure out the 30-second answers to be memorized by the candidates."

"This is stunningly dangerous," Gingrich said. "Your leaders shrink."


JerseyCynic would like to issue a 'call to all' this morning.

I would like everyone who is reading this to find their Rosary Beads, or like facsimile.
(I'm going to use my favorite candy -- NERDS ROPE)

Now, all together, repeat after me:

"Dear Goddess above, PLEASE make Newt NAUGHT" (yum!)

"Dear Goddess above, PLEASE make Newt go away" (tasty!)

(and while you're at it Dear Goddess above, PLEASE don't crack my crowns while I'm doing this)



A perfect comment from Minstrel Boy that was left in the same post over at BigBrassBlog:

OK, i'm in. i really am baffled by the resurgence of newt. one might think that even the capacity of republicans for cognitive dissonance would be sorely tried by listening to newt lecture them on ethics, government, or anything except maybe serial adultery and wild hypocrisy without heads exploding all over the nation.

he reminds me of a conservative peter the hermit who organized the children's crusade. the pitch was that the holiness of peter and his band of children walking from europe to the holy land would show the saracens and mamelukes the power of christ, they would then capitulate to the will of the one true church.

peter gathered urchins and extra children from the south of france, northern italy, austria and on through the balkans. it was estimated when he reached the bosphorus that he had close to 100,000 waifs following behind him, many of them were barefoot as penitents.

he sold them to the turks as slaves.

in essence that is what newt did to the republicans. he came in on a wave of reform spirit with his "contract with america" but once he arrived in the corridors of power he realized that earmarks, and pork barrel spending were great tools for both rewarding the faithful and, by being held back, could punish the unbelievers. spending ensued on a scale that would have made even FDR blush after his second pitcher of martinis. then, after working himself into a state of rage over a perceived slight by the president regarding the seating plan on a flight he orchestrated the shut down of the federal government over the budget. the people saw through that and blamed the republican congress for the event, and it cost them seats. his next move was to lead the lynch mob after the president over his sexual indiscrections and his subsequent lying about those indiscretions. when it became known that while this was happening newt was bonking his office assistant while still married to his second wife (who he was bonkng while still married to the first wife, but she was in the hospital and not available for jesus approved bonking)

he slinked away, disgraced and defeated. his cause was taken up by hastert and deLay who managed between them to completely shatter every myth of republican fiscal acuity, or any concern for personal liberty, or just about every issue they claim leadership on leaving them with nothing but a reputation and legacy of corruption, incompetence and hypocrisy.

now he's back. ready to lead the children for the greater glory of god.

(note to self: check the futures market on slave children in ankara)

by: Minstrel Boy

crossposted at BigBrassBlog

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