That's the AP headline, and here's the story:
Need a down-payment for your home? Seed money to start a business? The Army wants to help if you're willing to join up. Despite spending nearly $1 billion last year on recruiting bonuses and ads, Army leaders say an even bolder approach is needed to fill wartime ranks.
Under a new proposal, men and women who enlist could pick from a "buffet" of incentives, including up to $45,000 tax-free that they accrue during their career to help buy a home or build a business. Other options would include money for college and to pay off student loans.
"The numbers of people who meet our enlistment standards is astonishingly low," said Michael Dominguez, principal deputy undersecretary of defense.
Among the changes that have helped attract more recruits:
Increasing to $20,000 the bonus for troops who join by Sept. 30 and leave for boot camp within a month.
Raising the enlistment age to 42.
Allowing recruits to come in with non-offensive tattoos on their hands and neck.
Offering a $2,000 bonus to Army soldiers who refer a new recruit.
Enlisting recruits who don't meet weight standards and must trim down their first year.
Advertising that targets potential recruits' parents.
Increasing the number of recruits with general education diplomas rather than regular high school diplomas.
Creating a more pleasant boot camp environment.
Sending "gung-ho" soldiers fresh from boot camp or war zones back to their hometowns to visit old friends and schoolmates to promote the Army.
Increasing to more than 15 percent the number of Army and Army Reserve troops given waivers for medical and moral reasons or for positive drug and alcohol screen tests.
Hey, I know of 5 strapping young men from Massachusetts, ages 26-37, that they should go after. Oh, never mind. I forgot. They are already doing their patriotic duty, according to their Dad, republican presidental hopeful Mitt Romney
Romney: My Sons Show Patriotism By "Helping Me Get Elected":
"The Five Brothers, as they are known on the Romney campaign website, post sunny dispatches from across the land, where they are traveling in "the famous Mitt Mobile" (it's a Winnebago), to busily preach the gospel of Dad.
No word on which of the Romney kids are vying for torturer slots at all those Gitmos their dad wants to open, but don't worry boys, I'm sure there'll be enough to go around.
America thanks you."
I think we should all storm Mitt's e-mail with this youtube video