Like most recovering alcoholics I try to do a daily reading from AA literature. It helps center me when I get too big for my britches and start showing the lack of that elusive quality called humility. When I first got sober I didn't realize I was looking for humility because I thought it would help me get what I wanted, and that I would do anything for others if I thought the God of my understanding would somehow reward me for it. So by taking a moment each day to remember now that the world and the people in it that I meet in the course of my day are as close to the G-O-D as I am ever going to get while on this earth. By doing that, I don't need to search for Gawd or humility, it has found me.
I've been thinking lately about George Bush's amazing ability to stay sober without, what appears to me, any real understanding of the word and how it relates to his own " sobriety." I've spent far too many years around people who are sober and I've yet to meet one that exhibits the behavior and attitude of President Bush. Well, unless they're on a dry bender.
Today's daily reflection is about giving up center stage. As a recovering alcoholic lemme tell ya, just about the time you think you've got a handle on it it will jump up and bite ya in the buttocks if you don't take a daily inventory. So today as well as taking my own I took our fearless leader's. Yes, I know. I'm not suppose to do that. So sue me. I claim progress, not perfection!
"For without some degree of humility, no alcoholic can stay sober at all....Without it, they cannot live to much useful purpose, or, in adversity, be able to summon the faith that can meet any emergency." Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions p. 70
"Why do I balk at the word "humility"? I am not humbling myself toward other people, but towards God as I understand him or her. Humility means "to show submissive respect,"and by being humble I realize I am not the center of the universe. When I was drinking, I was consumed by pride and self-centeredness. I felt the entire world revolved around me, that I was master of my destiny. Humility enables me to depend more on the universe or the gawd of my own understanding to help me overcome obstacles, to help me with my own imperfections, so I may grow spiritually. I must solve more difficult problems to increase my proficiency and, as I encounter life's stumbling blocks. I must learn to overcome them through Gawd's help never forgetting that in the course of my day the people I meet are about as close to gawd as I'm gonna get in this lifetime. Daily communion with God demonstrates my humility and provides me with the realizations that an entity more powerful than I is willing to help me if I cease trying to play God myself."
I have no clue if the "Decider" has a sponsor or not. His disdain for any accountability tells me it is highly unlikely. I suspect that if any of his keepers attempt to shine a small light on the reality of his character defects they would be quickly sent to the gallows. Having suffered from alcoholism, I should understand the illness, but sometimes I feel annoyance, even contempt, towards a person who cannot take the suggestions of A.A. But then again, but for the grace of the Goddess, there go I.
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