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Friday, December 29
Last Minute Gift Suggestions For Those Who Don't Care
You've been invited to some festivities this weekend, eh? You didn't really care that much about the host/hostess because you didn't buy them a present for the holidays. Show them how much you care with a USB Humping Dog (you had better be able to read Japanese).
Or how about a radioactive isotope for that backstabbing piece of shit who you thought was your friend? Polonium-210, which comes in a cute gift box, isn't enough to kill your cheating spouse, but it will sure scare the shit out him or her.
What about the Dick Cheney in your life? How about some seasoned bird shot? Shoot the birdie and it will be marinated by the time you put it on the dinner table. Mmmmm. Ammo with flavor. Throw in some Mullet Shampoo too.
The religious freak in your life deserves the Thomas Kinkade Faith Mountain Religious Christian Home Decor. It's a thingy that looks kind of like a Christmas tree but it's really the life of jesus from his humble beginnings to his grisly death in painstaking detail and it lights up too.
What about the alky in your life who likes to sneak booze into non-alcoholic events? Why not a faux beer belly (with a straw) or a wine rack for the lady?
That little underdeprived daughter of the host and hostess deserves Barbie and her incredible shitting doggie. Comes with toy poop and pooper scooper. Don't miss the Barbie toy kitty litter box or Barbie's Let's clean up the stable playset either.
We keep this catalog in the bathroom for fun reading, but just about anything from Archie McPhee is a way to tell those you "love" how much you care. Personally, I like the Swedish Ear Syringe but you may prefer the Avenging Narwhal Play Set for the little brat.