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Saturday, June 3

Onward Christian Soldiers. Indeed.

I was always taught that God would judge the living and the dead on the last day. Religionists in America just can't wait for God to get with the program. They are too impatient. They support a couple of real life wars, but after all, some kids are just too young to go overseas and kill brown infidels. What can a hateful religionist do? Why, create a violent video game for junior to brush up on his killing skills... all in the name of the Lord, of course. Left Behind Games are based on the wonderful family values books by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins. This one is called "Left Behind: Eternal Forces" and will be released this fall. The best part is that the war takes place in New York City where many of the people that God both hates and yet created reside.

From Imagine: you are a foot soldier in a paramilitary group whose purpose is to remake America as a Christian theocracy, and establish its worldly vision of the dominion of Christ over all aspects of life. You are issued high-tech military weaponry, and instructed to engage the infidel on the streets of New York City. You are on a mission - both a religious mission and a military mission -- to convert or kill Catholics, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, gays, and anyone who advocates the separation of church and state - especially moderate, mainstream Christians. Your mission is "to conduct physical and spiritual warfare"; all who resist must be taken out with extreme prejudice. You have never felt so powerful, so driven by a purpose: you are 13 years old. You are playing a real-time strategy video game whose creators are linked to the empire of mega-church pastor Rick Warren, best selling author of The Purpose Driven Life.
Wow. Finally. A video game with a purpose.

This game immerses children in present-day New York City -- 500 square blocks, stretching from Wall Street to Chinatown, Greenwich Village, the United Nations headquarters, and Harlem. The game rewards children for how effectively they role play the killing of those who resist becoming a born again Christian. The game also offers players the opportunity to switch sides and fight for the army of the AntiChrist, releasing cloven-hoofed demons who feast on conservative Christians and their panicked proselytes (who taste a lot like Christian).
At least it's fair. You can play the Antichrist New Yorker and eat Christians for dinner. Yum. Salty. I'm looking forward to the release of the game and plan to play it often.

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