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Thursday, June 29

Blondesense Accuses Bush Of Diverting Attention from Penis Pump Trial

Bush is out there blabbing about Democrats who want to wave the white flag of surrender in Iraq even though 3 years ago he declared that the war was over and he's pretending that the news of the US' spying on bank records was a secret even though he talked about it a number of times. Supposedly spying on bank records was a "vital tool" in fighting the war on terra, says our leader. Everyone else in the country wants the Republicans to shut the hell up and talk about getting our troops out of Iraq, lowering the gasoline prices and getting cameras into the penis pump trial in Oklahoma.

The judge who was arrested for using his penis pump behind the bench while conducting trials is having his day in court much to the giggling amusement of the jurors in the Oklahoma town who have seen both the defense attorney and the prosecutor mimic masturbation in the courtroom and also demonstrate the "sh-sh" of air through the "white handled sexual device".

Thompson's former court reporter, Lisa Foster, wiped away tears as she described tracing an unfamiliar "sh-sh" in the courtroom to her boss. She testified that between 2001 and 2003 she saw Thompson expose himself at least 15 times.

"I was really shocked and I was kind of scared because it was so bizarre," said Foster.

She testified that during a trial in 2002, she heard the pump during the emotional testimony of a murdered toddler's grandfather.

The grandfather "was getting real teary-eyed, and the judge was up there pumping on that pump," she said. "It was sickening."

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