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Tuesday, June 13

Better Living Through Blondesense

We make sense of health news by connecting the dots and spinning them around until you get dizzy.

The male life span is increasing says the CDC. The life expectancy hit 75.2 which is now only 5 years less than a female's life expectancy. Way to go! Maybe viagra gave older guys a reason to live.

I wonder if the discovery that the "compound xanthohumol, found in hops, which inhibits a protein in the cells along the surface of the prostate gland" has had any impact on the male life span? If you drink more than 17 beers/day, it may prevent prostate cancer. Eating more tomatoes for the lycopene has also been linked to prostate cancer prevention. So is a diet of beer and pizza a possible life saving measure for men?

But what about liver damage from all that beer, you say? Well research has shown that drinking coffee cuts the risk of cirrhosis of the liver from alcohol! When you're sobering up, you are actually healing yourself. One cup a day reduced your chances of getting cirrhosis by 20% and four cups reduced your chances by 80%

And what about obesity from all that pizza? Well sometimes being fat is a life saver too. A hefty German man who was run over by a car lived to tell about it. His weight saved him being that he probably weighed more than the Volkswagen Polo.

Worried about diabetes from eating all that pizza? Keep drinking that coffee, baby. Reaserchers have found that coffee has a protective effect against the type-2 diabetes. "People who were inactive and overweight but who drank seven or more cups a day were half as likely to develop the condition as those who drank the least number of cups."

Just stay away from fast food joints which makes you 1/3 fatter than other foods with the same calories. It's those nasty transfats. ew. If you're a 1/3 fatter than other fat guys, no amount of viagra will get you the babes. Stick with pizza.

And while you're sitting around drinking beer and coffee while eating pizza to prevent diseases, you might as do it at the beach because Vitamin D research has confirmed it protects you against colon cancer or pre-cancerous colon polyps, breast cancer, prostate cancer risk and ovarian cancer. And see to it that your teenage daughters get plenty of sun at the beach because “Exposure to vitamin D at the time breasts are developing, particularly around adolescence, might be important,” said lead researcher Julia Knight of Mount Sinai Hospital in Toronto.

And keep an eye on your Vitamin B12 and folate to prevent dementia and alzheimers when you get older. You might forget where you put the viagra. B12 is found in foods such as fish, meat and dairy products, while spinach, peas and grains are rich in folate. If it's too late to start eating food that will help you prevent dementia because you are nearing 75 and almost dead, there is an Alzheimer's vaccine that looks promising. Hang in there.

And if you're a smoker due to all that drinking and dieting for healthy living, you might want to take folic acid to prevent throat cancer. And folic acid may also prevent laryngeal cancer too. Those oral smokeless tobacco's called "snus" which are popular in Europe may save you from lung cancer, but it may cause cancer of the pancreas and the mouth. Maybe we should just try to quit smoking.

Zyban reduces the cravings for nicotine and is prescribed to those who want to quit smoking. Interestingly Zyban is the same drug as Wellbutrin and Wellbutrin (an antidepressant) has just been approved by the FDA to treat Seasonal Affective Disorder. So if you decide to quit smoking around the new year, you will be less depressed about it.

Meanwhile those prissy college students prefer their iPods to beer. Get with the program kids.

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