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Thursday, March 23

Good God, I Hope Buzzy Holds Up

If you needed any more evidence that the American Taliban is now fully in charge here in Amurka, here you are. Last week, a federal appeals court upheld the dismissal of a lawsuit asserting Mississippi's "sex toys" law is unconsitutional. The federal court refused to hear the case because two employees of a store selling the toys were arrested and charged under the Mississippi law, which was enacted in 2003, and the criminal case has to run its course. So, apparently, these guys (or gals) have to run the gauntlet of the criminal justice system before a freaking federal court will rule whether the statute passes muster under the US Consitution. You know, the Supreme Law of the Land.

Here's the relevant text of the statute:

"A person commits the offense of distributing unlawful sexual devices when he knowingly sells, advertises, publishes or exhibits to any person any three-dimensional device designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs or offers to do so or possesses such devices with the intent to do so.”

Mississippi Code, Title 97, Chapter 29, Section 97-239-105

The statute was upheld by the Mississippi Supreme Court two years ago. I'm not sure whether it is now making its way to the US Supreme Court, but let's take a wager on how Scalia, Thomas, Alito and Roberts will vote.

What's the deal? We can't have sex when we're married if we're not doing it to make babies. We can't have sex outside marriage because that makes us sluts and hos. Now, we can't have sex with ourselves because . . . I don't know, someone help me out here. I guess that means we're never, supposed to have an orgasm again. Never. Ever.

Say it with me, ladies: "They can have my vibrator when they pry it from my cold, dead hands."

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