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Monday, November 28

"I don't care if it rains or freezes, long as I have my plastic Jesus. . ."

Alabama is considering putting "God Bless America" on their license plates. Whataburger, a Texas tradition and possibly the best chain restaurant hamburger, has "One Nation, Under God, Indivisible" on their windows.

If we keep evoking God on car tags and hamburgers, what is going to satisfy the hyper-religious when these prayers for blessings don't keep tornadoes from tipping their trailer houses?

Have you seen Alabama? "The State that God Forgot" should be on the plates.

If God is blessing America, why do our godly leaders keep lying to us and the world about the Iraqi war? Why do our godly leaders kill more Americans and Iraqis weekly than your average serial killer, but they are godly and serial killers make creepy boogie man stories and television series?

If God is blessing America, why does a 13 year old die when a neighbor was simply unloading his gun and the gun fired sending a bullet through the walls of their apartments? I mean, if this is blessing us, please, keep it to yourself, alright, All Mighty?

We have given Bush two terms, whether you voted for him or not, and given a Republican Congress free reign to cover up his ugly deeds, whether you voted for him or not, because we have done nothing to support real reportage, real criminal investigations of his ugly deeds. Nor have we simply walked off our jobs--ever one of us in a national moratorium--to protest Bush. We have enabled him. So we have given the country to the Religious Right. Since we "pour God over everything like ketchup", why aren't we blessed? You mean somehow things could be worse, like God could turn his back on us?

Can we take control over our own lives and stop evoking the sky-God whenever we refuse to understand or act for ourselves? Can I buy a hamburger without evoking God and Country?

While driving across the great state of Texas and God Bless her, we noted yet another unnecessary and irritating thing: The green reflective sign that says Welcome to Texas at the state line now says, Proud Home of President George W. Bush. I shit you not. I know it never said Proud Home of Lyndon B. Johnson. WTF? I am going to write the Texas Department of Highways and Transportation over that error. I mean if we are going to put famous Texans on road signs, why not have it say, Home of Charles Whitman?*

I am so tired of this type of God as ketchup thing I wrote Mr. Whataburger the following:

My husband and I love Whataburger. But we do not like the new window stickers evoking "One Nation, Under God, Indivisible" on your windows.

Using God to sell hamburgers, while not particularly un-American, is cheap. Using the Pledge of Allegiance to sell hamburgers is a whole different class of cheap. If we are supposed to start every school day and every sporting event with it, which certainly doesn't do anything but get everyone to stand up, some people consider it rather politically important.

The pledge debate has gotten way outta hand. Kids get expelled for not saying it and now you are using it to sell hamburgers.

Why not just say you are a communist if you don't love our hamburgers? Why not just say God will smite you if you don't get fries with it?

I don't care if you put a Texas or American flag there because ever lying car salesman in the country does it but let's leave questions of sovereignty, religion, and federalism out of my hamburger.

I think that I am going to start a new business writing smart-assed letters to corporations when needed. Have an issue with a corporation? Let me send them a well crafted letter to get your message across when you are simply angry beyond words.

*Whitman, a former Eagle Scout and Marine, shot his fellow classmates to death from the University of Texas Tower in 1966. To date no one has suggested having his infamous name meeting and greeting you at the state line or naming a elementary school for him, yet their are plans for George Bush - named schools everywhere. When we passed Arcadia, La. there was a sign for Bonnie and Clyde museum. A Texas Legislator, Tom Moore, D-Waco, did get his fellow legislators to honor Tony De Salvo for his efforts to control population growth. De Salvo, while not a Texan, was credited as being the Boston Strangler and Moore was making a point that legislators have no idea what they vote for or against at any given moment.

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