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Monday, July 25

If You Put the Right’s Spin Together, Here’s What You Hear

There’s this desk jockey who works at the CIA. We know she’s nothing more than a desk jockey because she drives from her home to where she works everyday. Everyone knows that CIA undercover agents get to work some other sneaky shadowy way, perhaps underground or something. One day she and her husband schemed to send her husband to Africa so that he could come back and falsely report that Iraq had not tried to buy yellow cake uranium from Niger, even though Iraq never did. Anyway, they planned this scheme so that they could expose the report and try to make the president and his administration look like lying crooks for getting America to support the invasion of Iraq. Now, here’s the good part. A reporter/journalist magically acquired the information about the desk jockey’s job description and called the white house to report this. This reporter said, hey, the wife of this crooked guy who reported about no attempt by Iraq to purchase yellow cake uranium from Niger, even though there was no attempt, is a pencil pusher, desk jockey who drives from her house to work everyday. Then more magically, for some reason several reporters just happen to call the white house and ask about the job description of this desk jockey. They ask if it’s true and the white house says, I heard something about it. When the liberal media wouldn’t reveal the identity of the pencil pusher a good Republican journalist steps up to the plate and put the story out for all to see. He said the wife of the lying bastard who exposed the reasons why our president should be impeached for lying to the world is, get ready, a desk jockey. So everyone relaxes, knowing that anything the husband of a desk jockey says or does must be unreliable. Obviously he can’t be trusted if he’s married to a pencil pusher. He obviously lied when he said no attempt was ever made by Iraq to buy yellow cake uranium from Niger, even though there never was.

Now somewhere along the way all hell broke loose, but we’re not sure where or why. But all of a sudden the pansy Democrats began whining that the pencil pusher was a CIA agent and that her husband is not a lying, treasonous, son of a bitch. They say that they see evidence that someone like Karl Rove, who is famous for hitting below the belt, has hit someone below the belt. They say he told reporters/journalists about the desk jockey’s ID so that she would no longer be able to push her pencil. They are raising such hell you would think they had a case or something. Next thing you know a special prosecutor is involved and subpoenas are flying. They are accusing the Republicans of treason and gosh knows what else. They even go so far as to accuse our president of lying in order to begin this war that is going so well now. They say just because he was wrong about a few little details, that the US never should have invaded Iraq. Instead of allowing everyone, even the president, a little mistake or something, they call him a liar. They claim that someone in the white house was so mad about the report that Iraq never attempted to purchase yellow cake uranium, even though it never did, that this angry person exposed the pencil pusher because she was, get this, a CIA agent. They say that her cover as an “agent” was blown in order to get even with her and her husband for that little scheme they cooked up to expose the big scheme the white house was cooking up. Nothing could be further from the truth. The reporter who called the white house to give them information on the pencil pusher’s job description did so because it said so much about the kind of person a pencil pusher’s husband can be. What other reason could there be? And, why would Rove want to leak her job description? Why would he or anyone go to so much trouble just to out a pencil pushing desk jockey, and why?

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