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Monday, June 13

Real Woman's Issues

The second time I shaved my legs and underarms yesterday, (it's summer, you know) I had a thought... well I had a few thoughts and one was what I was going to cook for my man, but the other thought was pony tail or hat... no wait, it was about how to slam uppity "supposedly progressive" men like daily kos, who think that women shouldn't worry about being objectified.

There are more manly things to think about like the politics and the economy than women's issues. Whether or not 'A List' Male Lefty bloggers think that the continuing degradation of females by the media is a waste of time or is making a mountain out of a molehill should be of no concern to me. After all, putting women in their place (spread eagle on the bed) a long standing male tradition embraced by men of any political persuasion. Even the holy bible condones it. Who am I to even question true American values that cross all party lines? Men calling each other "pussies" or enjoying female cat fights is another time honored tradition. Silly me for thinking that "progressive" men would be above that. It just makes me want to go to Victoria's Secret and buy another cleavage enhancing bra on my husband's credit card.

Now I suppose that I have lost my sense of humor lately because spending so much time in front of the bathroom mirror practicing my surprised coy look without causing brow furl has become quite a chore. It takes away from my blogging sometimes. Other women bloggers have similar experiences. See links below.

Reading etiquette books at the beach is fun, but I have taken to reading the New York Times to improve my mind and my outlook on the world (to impress men)... but it's so big and cumbersome and men get mad when I learn stuff. The wind blows the Times too much at the beach... it really makes me mad. I exhale loudly when the paper gets crumpled. I even broke a nail when section B blew off my blanket and I had to retrieve it before the seagulls shat on it. Silly me, I was trying to read more about that war and wondering if my only begotten son would be drafted to fight in it.

With heaving ample breasts, I carefully pack my NY Times into the recycling bin being sure not to ruin my manicure. I flick my long blonde hair away from my naturally green eyes while glancing once again at my long bronzed legs to be sure that no hair has gone unshaven and join my man on the sofa to watch the hilarious antics of silly womanly women engaging in a food fight. What could be better or more important for world peace? Well I'd better start thinking about tonight's menu.

Some Guys Really Know How to Give a Girl the Giggles
Pop Quiz, Asshole
Why, I do declare!
Dear Ladies
Write Your Own Caption - Markos Moulitsas ZĂșniga Edition
Stuff This Wherever You Keep Your "Important Shit"
Female Problems
Ode To Misogyny
Sensing Humor
Lance Mannion's Backgrounder on this Issue
Hell Hath No Fury
This One's For The Ladies

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