Or vice versa. Or both.
But it's perfectly natural and we are wired that way. So don't commit suicide yet.
Scientists can actually watch, via brainscans, the mechanics of new love. "It is closer in its neural profile to drives like hunger, thirst or drug craving, the researchers assert, than to emotional states like excitement or affection," according to an article in the NY Times called Watching New Love as It Sears the Brain.
Scientists suggest that the desire to love can be more powerful than the reason to live. People need love as much as they need food and shelter! It's no wonder that people can act so crazy when they are falling in love and even become suicidal when the love isn't returned. Thankfully, new love progresses to a more sane state where affection, companionship and possibly a long term commitment take the place of the blind desire to fall in love. There is a long term commitment part of the brain. Who knew? The part of the brain that registers passionate love is distinct from the part of the brain that registers sexual arousal and attractiveness.
I've read in this article and others, that being dumped heightens romantic love. If you have come to the place where you have internalized some of your beloved's character traits/flaws and it is suddenly removed, it plays havoc, according to scientific findings, with one's "emotional, cognitive and deeper reward-driven areas of the brain." Most of us can relate to that. With time and hopefully without having to see the object of your affection after being dumped, we can recover from this and our passion center in the brain will allow us to find someone new. It's rare for love relationship to go from that to a mutual platonic friendship unless both people are involved with another love. So don't bet on being just friends with your former lover if you've found someone new and your former "other" feels dumped. It is scientifically and biologically not going to happen.
My thoughts after reading some of these articles (see below for links) and still not fully digesting these findings seem to prove that the old adage of "not shitting where you eat" is a good one. If a relationship should end and the object of your desire is still in your life, it will take much longer to heal and it can bring you to temporary (hopefully temporary) insanity. Conversely if you move on without the consent of your once beloved, be prepared to be stalked. Now they tell me. It's a chemical thing. They can't help it. When you haphazardly play with such a strong biological and chemical reaction, you ARE playing with fire.
When they say, Love is real. They aren't kidding.
THE Biochemistry Of What You Feel
Brain in Love and Lust
The Chemistry of Love
Learning to See Things From Your Partner's Point of View
The Science Of Love
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