From the Letters to the Editor of this a.m.s Iowa City Press-Citizen:

Y'all kin find out what some Iowans (no, not Ohio) think about indoor rain forests, drilling in Alaska for oil and THESE IDEAS:

Time to rename U.S. departments

It may be time to change the names of federal government departments to reflect the New America:

• Department of Defense to Department of Preventive Wars

• State Department to Department of World Compliance

• Treasury Department to Department of Debt Management

• Department of Education to Department of Tests and Standards

• Department of Commerce to Department of Corporate Liberation

• Department of Labor to Department of Corporate Servitude

Also, some title changes appear to be in order:

• Office of the Vice President to Office of Chief Puppeteer

• Chief of Staff to Under Chief Puppeteer

• National Security Adviser to Spin Doctor for Neoconservative Ideology

New agencies also may be needed:

• Global Warming Denial

• Geneva Conventions Reinterpretation

• United Nations Charter and International Law Obfuscation

• Protection of Friendly Dictators

• Global Corporate Exploitation

While we're at it, considerations should be given to amending the U.S. Constitution: "Nothing in this constitution shall be construed to grant equal protection under the law for immoral minorities."