Search This Blog

Wednesday, February 23

The True Magic Words To Bring World Peace

by Missouri Mule

Since y'all seem to be such potty brains today, lets take a look at what really makes the world go round. Yes, indeed. Blow jobs make the world go 'round, just in case you still thought it was love. Everything that happens, good or bad, in the entire world, can ultimately be traced back to a blow job, either given or withheld. Men have two states of mind that can be best illustrated with two crude drawings: one is a big, smiley, happy face; the other of a big old scrow. The accompanying captions would read "Blow Jobs" and "No Blow Jobs." Properly timed and executed, blow jobs given to the right personnel on a regular basis would no doubt bring world peace. Perhaps we should unleash all those beauty pageant contestants who are always clamoring to work for world peace. Put' em out there where they can do us all some real good. Save the Wales, the children, the rain forests, the oceans, the ozone layer, the owls, the beach------everything! Save' em all! They've got to organize! A union is what they need.

But we know the secret truth. The Promise of a blow job works just as well as the real thing, at least from our perspective. We deduced this important principle from a tip I read some years ago in "Hints from Heloise." One clever mom had discovered how to avoid the sticky mess that always occurred when she gave her children ice cream. She swore they were just as happy with an empty cone! I recall thinking those must be some serious dumbass kids if they couldn't tell the difference between ice cream and no ice cream. Turns out she was 100 percent correct. And so it is with the utmost confidence that we recommend to only make the "Promise of the Blow Job" to you. According to Tammy, Queen, and In-house Counsel, the Promise is not enforceable in any court of law. Believe me, if it were, with as many lawyers as we've used it on, we'd have heard about it by now!

Sweet Potato Queen's Book of Love

No comments: