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Friday, February 11

It's Okay to Swallow What You Floss

But don't eat a mule if it's had sex with someone else.

The Ayatollah's Book of Etiquette
Harpers Magazine (and more at the link):
From “A Clarification of Questions,” by Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini, published in 1985 by the Westview Press. Khomeini's treatise sets out his position on 3,000 questions of everyday life. Translated by J. Borujerdi. Originally from June 1985.
  • 64. Evacuation is unlawful in four places. First, in dead-end alleys. Second, on the property of a person who has not given his permission. Third, in a place assigned to a specific group of people, such as some schools. Fourth, over the graves of the faithful, if it would be considered disrespectful.
  • 145. If a host, while eating, realizes that the food is unclean, he must inform his guests. But if one of the guests realizes this, it is not necessary to inform the others, unless his relations with the others are such that as a result of remaining silent he himself becomes unclean.
  • 462. Divorcing a menstruating woman is void.
  • 464. If a woman begins menstruating while praying, her prayer is void.
  • 2,629. It is not unlawful to swallow the food that exits from between the teeth as a result of flossing if one's nature has no aversion to it.
  • 2,631. It is loathsome to eat the meat of a horse, a mule, or a donkey if someone has had coitus with the animal.
  • 2,858. The prizes that banks give to encourage borrowers, and those that institutions give to encourage buyers and customers, are lawful. The thing that sellers put inside their merchandise to attract customers and increase buyers, such as gold coins in boxes of shortening, are lawful and of no concern.
  • 2,874. It is not unlawful to introduce a man's semen into the uterus of his wife with devices such as suction cups.
We should have our leader write up something like this for our edification.

And while you're at Harpers, you will discover that "The Devil often reveals his presence through electric devices." So says an Italian exorcist in The Telly of the Beast

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