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Thursday, February 24

Blow Jobs For The Needy


The giving of the "Promise" has become the Sweet Potato Queens' rite of initiation. Once a woman has been elected for a position in the court, the Boss Queen, namely me, will choose a quest and a knight for her to practice on. The entire court will accompany her on her virgin mission. It is a very moving occasion.

A few years ago, at the initiation of Tammy, which was being held during happy hour at Hal & Mal's, we spied at the bar a certain high muckety-muck from the Carton -Ledger, the largest newspaper in Missouri. And we----rather, I---decide that it would be a good thing if he would ensure that there was a large, full-color, above-the-fold, front-page photo of the Sweet Potato Queens in Sunday's paper following the parade on Saturday. And so our newest Tammy went over to him, accompanied by the full court of Queens. Now he, not living under a rock, knew full well who we were, what we wanted, and what we were about to say to him in order to get it. So did everybody else at the bar, which, of course, did make him the Man of the Hour----lucky bastard. Still, not being accustomed to receiving such attention, he was slightly flustered and flushed. Meanwhile our girl Tammy, former president of the Junior League and former Queen Regent the Girls' Auxiliary of the First Baptist Church of the little town where she grew up, was in an equal swivet at the prospect of actually delivering the Promise to this man, in full view and earshot of a hundred or so people, all of whom were respectfully silent in keeping with import of the occasion.

All I can say is: I know have that large, full-cover, above-the-fold, front-page photo framed and hanging in my office.

Whenever possible, we like to make the Promise in a group. It seems to heighten the excitement for the guy. We're all laughing fit to kill, and he knows on some level----like his conscious, rational min---that it is never going to happen. But on some other level, usually a little farther south, hope springs eternal, and we are all fro keeping hope alive, especially since it serves our purpose so well.

Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love

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