by pissed off patricia
Gay Penguins and A Snark About Saving the Penguins
Seems some penguins in a German Zoo need to hear the word of God. The little rascals might be gay.
A spokesman for the zoo said, “The zoo concluded the penguins might be gay after seeing male penguins trying to mate with other males and trying to hatch offspring out of stones."
So they are going to bring in more female penguins and see what happens. They haven't decided if the penguins are gay or just got together "because of a lack of females."
Maybe instead of bringing in female penguins they could read the bible to these fallen creatures. If the penguins are gay, I'm sure it was a choice they made. Probably something happened during their childhood that caused them to "decide to become gay".
I suggest a little revival meeting under the tent. Bring in some Southern Baptist ministers and let them explain to the little penguins that they will burn in hell if they continue this hedonistic behavior. If there is one place a little penguin never wants to be, it's near extreme heat.
Personally I think we should remove these penguins from public view and keep them in a closet somewhere until we are confident they have all been persuaded to see the sinfulness of their ways. We know that these penguins will try to convince the other animals to become gay. That's another way gay-ness is spread, straight penguins are convinced to become gay by recruiter gays. We can't allow recruiter gay penguins. First the gay penguins and then which animals will be next? There have been some signs that the penguins have gayed-up a few chimpanzees already.
Being convinced to become gay is often spread by word of mouth, not by the holy word of God. As all righteous people know, God forbids homosexuality and he also forbids killing, but we aren't so concerned about the killing part. In fact we are getting pretty good at justifying killing. We are positive it is our responsibility to stop gayness for god's sake. We must step in no matter where, no matter what, and by God, eradicate the world of anything that we are too stupid to understand and anything that doesn't line up with our holy agenda. We preach the gospel, and gay penguins be damned!
Yes indeed, do something about these possibly gay penguins quick. Get them out of the picture before the holy human flock begins to see the truth. Get them out of the picture before they cause the dumbed-down public to see that homosexuality is a fact of life and nature, not a fact of a holy sin created and sold by fools and idiots. Save the gay penguins, but not for god's sake.