DON"T GIVE ME DEATH

I wish I could be for the death penalty. I wish we had equality in this country so I could feel good about putting people in the chair. The problem is that the majority of people who get the chair are minorities, poor, and they committed a crime in Texas. Texas don't give a fuck. They execute somebody damn near every week. That chair stays hot. That chair is the hottest seat in town. It's like a U2 ticket. When the Super Bowl was in Houston, I was surprised they didn't fry somebody during the half-time show.

I'm against capital punishment because there is too many factors when it comes to who gets the death penalty. Race, wealth, lawyers withholding evidence, cops lying, witnesses being paid, and of course Johnnie Cochran.

After that O.J. trial I started a Johnnie Fund. I'm saving up, just in case I kill somebody. Whenever somebody gets on my nerves, I go check my Johnnie Fund; "Not yet........you lucky my show got canceled. You'd be dead right now."

Too many factors involved. It's not only who does the killing, but who didn't you kill is a big part of getting the chair. Black man kills a black man, he gets the chair. Black man kills black woman, he may get life because judges are sympathetic. They know how a black woman can drive you to murder with all our"attitude and sassiness." Thanks to quality shows like Ricky Lake and Jerry Springer, people probably believe black women talk shit while they are being murdered. "Oh, I know you didn't stab me in my chest. You gon' pay me for this blouse, you stabbing muthafucka. And that's why you got a little dick. Go ahead, shoot me! You can't fuck no way." Black man kills a white woman, he gets the chair. Black man kills a white man, he gets the chair and then the gas chamber.

There is no equality. White man kills a white man,it all depends. White man kills a white woman, it all depends. White man kills a black man, he'll get a speeding ticket.

There should be a big crime board, like a menu. Everything is prix fixe. You killed somebody, you get life. Robbery, every ten grand you stole, gets you a year. It goes way up for armed robbery. Everybody gets the same punishment across the board. "Oh, you assaulted her, too? You get the combo time."

And it's been proven that the death penalty is not a deterrent. If you're a murderer, you're not thinking about how much time you're gonna get.
Those people waiting for their execution date aren't feeling any remorse. They're not thinking about all those people they killed and molested, they 're just regretting that time in their life when they thought it was a good idea to move to Florida. They're thinking of all those crimes they didn't commit. People they should've killed along the way.

Murderer 1: Man,.....I knew I should have killed that motherfucker at McDonald's who always put cheese on my Big Mac.......now I'm gonna die a fat man.

Murderer 2: I should've stole that algebra test in tenth grade .....Now I'm gonna die without a high school education............damn, .......what type of job am I supposed to get without a high school education?

Murderer 3: Why did I stop smoking?