Memoirs of one hellbound lady in the 21st Century.
We happy snuggled up to our TV sets to watch that family values game of football at the end of last season to see who the champs would be amid commercial after commercial assuring us that sexual dysfunction is a thing of the past for men. No matter how shriveled up the man is in general, his wee wee would still be a thing of magnificence for women to always worship. Well anyway, that was what we were supposed to assume from that commercial with the older man who was throwing his football through the tire on the rope swing with his adoring wife looking on. At first I wanted the drug thinking it would improve my aim. Whatever. The big story about the Super Bowl wasn't about the super duper family values of the game itself and those fabulous beer commercials and the wonderful music at half time but of the horrific exposition of the black woman's nipple we were forced to witness for a portion of a second on national television. It paved the way for months of discussion on the sad sad direction of morality in this country. Yes, the nipple certainly spelled out the direction of all our moral values. Right town the toilet. I thought it was kind of funny so I was deemed immoral by those who hold America sacred.
Another moral value came up afterward. It was the morality of going to war with Iraq when it was found out that there were in fact no WMD's in Iraq afterall. The president even made a joke about it at the Washington Press Corp din-din. Everyone laughed. I didn't think it was very funny. My morality was questioned because I questioned the morality of the war. Suddenly I was told that we went to war because Saddam was a bad man and killed his people during the Reagan administration. B-b-but I thought we went to war cause of mushroom clouds and WMD's. No silly, we went to war because Saddam was a bad man and you are immoral for not realizing that and you are disgusting and unAmerican. "You must be a lesbian, baby killing, atheist liberal! You should be tortured in Abu Ghraib. You disgust me." Steeeeerike two.
The next moral value that came up was the morality of the Passion Of The Christ by America's Favorite Retro Catholic, Mel Gibson. I went to see the Movie on the first day it came out. It was a bloody gory mess. It made me feel no closer to Jesus than before. It made me sick. It made others feel so very close to Christ. I cannot for the life of me imagine that anyone unless they enjoy snuff films, be converted to Christianity after seeing the flick for it told nothing of Jesus' ministry or the point of it. Those who did not see this film as the salvation for all mankind was labeled as immoral and hellbound. Exqueese me, but I just loved Zeffirelli's "Jesus of Nazareth". Doesn't count. Strike three.
Part 2. The Democratic Primaries and American Morals