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Wednesday, September 22

Taking Pride in America's Gluttony

I was in the Home Depot Expo store today. That's the high end version of Home Depot if anyone hasn't seen one. They had a big ass hot tub for $25,000 with a built in widescreen plasma TV, CD/DVD player and 4 marine speakers. It was quite a sight to behold. It appeared to entertain about 4 people.

I inquired as to whether it could be installed in the back of an SUV and the man looked bewildered. Then the man asked if I was interested but I told him I would like to wait to see if they came out with one that also had a bar, a small refrigerator, a hibachi grill and water volleyball net. I added that I wasn't sure if my Ford Land Destroyer was large enough though.

When I got home and was reading my email, It was a huge coincidence to read that Mark Morford's new column, Kiss My Megatruck, Dude, featured the biggest, ultra macho, 9 foot tall, 14,500, mega truck called the International CXT. It's made in Garland Texas. Where else? This thang makes the Hummer look like a child's toy. This thing makes the Ford Excretion look like a girlie man truck. Now I would bet that the big ass hot tub with all the accoutrements would fit on this baby. This would have to be a custom job though. Who to call? Who to call?

A few years back, I attended an antique truck show in New Hampshire with my brother in law. He insisted. What the hell. The tooth to head ratio was about 3:1 at the event. No lie. There was a guy with a hot tub in the back of his pickup truck. He said the whole thing cost him about $100,000 to set up. He was very impressed with himself and impressed that so many of us stopped to look at his creation, wondering how much use he got out of it in New Hampshire. I couldn't stop remarking to everyone that I found it odd that he and his wife didn't think to get a couple of dentures to wear in their high falutin' pick up truck.

Mark Morford says, the new CXT is "designed for the "discriminating" blue-collar redneck with $115,000 to spare". Oh Baby! Yee hah!

Fuck the poor!

"After all, this is the BushCo era, baby. This country is all about excess and earthly abuse and Texas-sized faux machismo masquerading as true patriotism. Why even try to hide your gluttony anymore? Be proud of it, says the GOP -- er, the CXT."- Mark Morford

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