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Monday, September 13

Bitchin' and Freakin'

by pissed off patricia

Did you ever deal with someone who was having an anxiety attack?
Wanna deal with me right now?
Today is the first day that I will be alone all day since the days and nights of the hurricane and I'm kinda freakin' out. I have these anxiety attacks but only once in a blue moon. What color was the moon last night? Nope, I don't take any kind of meds when this happens because I want to do my best to avoid that road and try to work it out myself.

If you aren't familiar with anxiety attacks they are basically an unreasonable fear of nothing. Today I'm feeling the fear I felt last week when it seemed everything in my house, including the house, was about to be swept away in the most furious wind. Each sound I hear today makes me jump and wonder, what was that? I keep telling myself to calm down but who's going to listen to someone who has unreasonable fears of nothing?

I've tried my usual methods that have in the past calmed me down, but for some reason today they don't work. Sometimes I come here to the computer and play solitaire to get my mind going in another direction but since this room was one of the ones where the water came in, being in here is nothing more than a reminder which reinforces my fears. If I turn on TV it's all about hurricane Ivan and that detailed information doesn't help either.

I did hear this morning that the Red Cross is in desperate need of money. Just after that, Kerry's ad was on. This is the one where he repeats over and over how much money has been sent to Iraq. Seems to me that the Red Cross could have done some even more impressive things with a chunk of that Iraqi bound cash. This is sort of a "duh" situation, huh?

Hey, thanks for listening and giving me your attention for a couple of minutes. Writing this has made me feel so much better. I may be back later if I begin to freak out again. Hopefully I'll get a grip on the situation and start behaving like an adult real soon.


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