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Tuesday, August 31

More Bitchin': France's WMD

by pissed off patricia

Oops sorry, that should be Frances' WMD.

Okay class, get out your map of Florida. See the big hole in the southern part of the state? That's Lake Okeechobee, one damned big lake too. Now lay your ruler so that it is across the top edge of the lake and draw a straight line due east to the coast. Okay you have drawn a line to my home. I am six miles inland. Now look at the projected path of hurricane Frances. Yes siree, that middle line in the cone intersects with the line you drew to my house.

This explains why we were out last night getting a few more supplies, like extra water, pet food, horrible canned food that we hope to goodness we never feel compelled to eat, and of course more batteries. There is some sort of comfort in owning tons of batteries if you live in the hurricane zone. If Frances doesn't make some serious path changes, we will be putting up the storm shutters Thursday or Friday, depending on where the storm is located by then. We invested in these little jewels five years ago and if we have to put them up this week it will be the first time. Seemed all this time that just owning them was some sort of hurricane repellant, but now I'm starting to wonder if they’ve lost their magical powers.

A hundred and twenty-five plus miles an hour wind can blow away pretty much anything except the sidewalk, and it can neatly remove the roof of a home. If this should happen the two of us will be in our walk-in closet with Murphy, the medium sized dog, Fred the cat, who will be in a pet carrier and Lovey, the twenty year old white dove, who will also at that point be in a pet carrier. Most likely we will all be under the mattress taken from our bed. Now doesn't that sound cozy? It could be an interesting if not terrifying experience. I sure hope it doesn't happen.

Between now and the weekend we all wait and wonder. The Weather Channel will have lots of southern viewers this week. I dare say they will get more hits that the RNC from this neck of the woods.

Probably about Thursday or Friday I'll hang up my keyboard once again in the name of "hurricane preparedness", as we bring in all the patio and yard stuff and basically sweat to the music of fear, because we may be victims of Frances' Winds of Mass Destruction.

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