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Tuesday, August 31

It's First Lady Night! Woo, Woo

It's First Lady Night! Woo, Woo

Okay ladies, this is the big night we've all been waiting for. Tonight the grand lady of literature and education will speak to the RNC. Yes, that's correct girls, Laura Bush speaks in NYC at the RNC.

We've got to get ready. Lets get our hair up in the hair rollers so our curls will be just so for tonight. Have tons of hairspray on hand too. Find a cute little pastel, double knit, matchy, matchy pants suit and don't forget to get a scarf to match. Now for the most fun part, let's go find that cute little bibbed apron you absolutely must own. You know, the one with the ruffles on the shoulders. You still have time to launder it and iron it using lots of spray starch for that crisp clean look.

See, I wasn't kidding you, it's so much fun to get ready to listen to Laura. Just wait until you get all dressed and ready to sit down tonight to watch lovely Laura. You'll feel just like a woman of the 50's. Be sure to smooth out your apron as you sit down and keep your knees either tightly together or you legs crossed demurely. You will be all controlled and innocent. You will represent women who didn't have to use their minds for much of anything other than trying to look good and please their men. Just look lovely, obey, and keep your sweet shiny red lips shut tight.

Laura is getting ready for the big night too. The handlers are installing new batteries in her and programming her. She will walk out on the stage and smile to her comatose adoring fans. Laura's switch will then be turned on and she will look as though she is actually talking as she tells us what a hell of a swell guy she married. She'll tell us that "W" stands for "women". She won't tell us that in her "W's W- world" he wants to hit the default key and set women back to where they were about fifty years ago. She can be so coy that way. She will talk about her husband's faith and how he's been a gem of a dad to his two daughters that he seldom sees. She'll be such a little flirty vixen in her simplicity.

If, as Laura speaks, you begin to get a little nervous and uncomfortable about what you're hearing, don't fret. You should go into the kitchen and bake a batch of cookies for the kids, or maybe get your hubby another beer from the frig. Ask him if he'd like you to make him a sandwich or some other snack. See dears, when things get tough good women don't complain. The only thing a good woman does is spend her life trying to please those around her. Women shouldn't have ambitions they should just follow assignments. Thinking can be so disturbing and tiring. I'm sure Laura would agree.

On a little personal note, there isn't a gun big enough to make me watch this drool tonight. Any woman who would stay married to a man like george bush and not recognize what is happening to our country due to his idiotic choices, has nothing to say that I need to hear. Too bad there wasn't another pre-season football game on TV tonight. That's what I did last night, after we got our hurricane list completed, I got a shower, put on my comfy night clothes, enjoyed a couple of martinis and watched my Dallas Cowboys play the Tennessee Titans. The Cowboys won.

See, I'm not exactly the type person that Laura would want to hangout with. And damn, I'm sure proud of that!

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