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Monday, June 14

I Do Declare!

A terrible shocking thing happened to me and my girlfriend today. I can barely type this as it makes my hands tremble and my face is blushing a hot hot red. We were walking down the street shortly after noon about 1 block from Bill O'Lielly's moms house and we noticed a man sitting on the ground in the bushes wearing fishnet stockings while playing with his wee-wee. I didn't notice the magazine he was holding but my friend noticed that he was reading a magazine. (I imagine if we had stopped and talked to him that he wouldn't have needed the magazine.. but I digress)

We sped up and crossed the street as our mothers had taught us to do many years ago. While on the other side of the street, I looked back curious to see whether or not the guy was following us. He was standing up near the corner wearing a gray sweat outfit by then but still waving his ding dong at me. I told my friend to look at it, but she is a fine Christian woman and took my word for it. I looked a few more times just to make a mental note of the sin he was committing.

My mom always told me to ignore flashers because they are just looking for attention. This was my first flasher/self abuser with the fishnet stockings touch. I guess it's never too late in life to experience and old perversion in a new way.

It took me about a minute and a half to find a picture of a guy wearing fishnets on the internet (the devil's playground). See above. I pixelated his penis cause he had all sorts of junk hanging on it and it was gross. He was ugly so I cropped off his head. Imagine if we could do this to people in real life?

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