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Saturday, March 27

A New Super Hero

I don't know where I read it, but somewhere in my reading some online pundit or something explained that American's obsession with inarticulate cartoon characters like the Preznit and Ahnold have to do with feeling comfortable in troubled times.. or something like that... they need some strong, but not necessarily bright, superhero to rescue them from the scawey scawey world.

Being a blonde, I comprehend that line of thinking. A dumb strong man was always a fun night out... but would I want him to rule my world? And if so, for how long? I mean, what would we talk about in the morning? More eggs with your cowboy hat? More bacon with your pecs?

Once again, surfing around the net in my bikini today I found a very telling photo of the Democratic candidate for POTUS. Not only can John Kerry fly planes, go snow boarding and play the guitar, he appears to be hung like a racehorse. This attribute for me anyway, seems to be an important characteristic I would look for in a world leader. He is an excruciatingly tall man who appears to need an ankle strap. This would be quite intimidating for even the most religious terrorist to the most self righteous born again Christian. Think of all the press and congressional hearings the presidential penis would get if this man were erected elected. We know how obsessed the republicans are with genitalia.

If it is true that Americans feel safer being led by super heros then, by all means, John Kerry and his super sized, super schlong would definitely be the answer for all Americans. The fact that he is articulate would appeal to progressives while his super penis would appeal to republicans and women. I do believe this man is the answer to both parties.

Vote Kerry/Schlong '04

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