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Monday, March 5

Monday News Roundup

The war drums continue to throb in the late-winter air, gentle readers, reminding us that the Top In The Relationship wants us to throw ourselves headlong into yet another war on the Asian landmass. Yes, indeedy, Israel wants war with Iran, and the neocons in this country just bend right over and beg, "Will you at least kiss us this time?"

A group of retired generals have put out a full-page ad, signed by them all, asking can we please not stick our collective genitalia in the meat slicer again, pretty please with sugar on top?

I'm surprised. If they had done this in a Republican Administration, they'd all be in Gitmo right now, trying out that new soccer pitch. Which leads me to that - a few people at work questioned the wisdom of having a soccer pitch, until I pointed out that it was probably built on the beds of land mines that keep the base separate from the country it belongs to; i.e., Cuba.

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Homophobia got back into the news, with Useless Has-Been Kirk Cameron holding forth that The Gay was destructive. News flash, Kirk: It's destructive if it's done wrong. You obviously have had a bad experience.

The ruler of Belarus remarked over the weekend that he thought it was better to be dictator than gay. From the look of his picture, I think he's smoked the old Baloney Pony at some point in his life. Maybe he and Kirk can hook up.

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Speaking of Useless Drains on Our Precious Resources, Rush Limbaugh issued a tepid "apology" to the young college student he called a slut for using birth control. The "apology" was painstakingly hand-crafted by The Viagra Smuggler's bevy of lawyers after more than a half-dozen corporate sponsors bailed on his flabby ass.

And in a breathtaking display of cognitive functions, America's Senile Uncle, Ron Paul (R-TX, gee ya think?) let everyone know that Rush's "apology" wasn't genuine. I'm so glad that the Sociopath candidate for President is still capable of displaying enough thinking skill to enable him to tie his own shoes.

How's this for stupidity? Pat Robertson says that the recent spate of tornadoes are due to a lack of prayer. Will someone get this guy more Aricept, please?

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A shitstorm of hideous tornado weather has smacked into states like Kentucky, Ohio, Indiana, and so on, killing a bunch of people and erasing entire towns. If you have any money to donate, dear readers, I suggest the Red Cross or a similar disaster relief organization.

Ohio's Governor, Drooling Republican Kasich, has waved away Federal disaster aid. He says that Ohio can manage all on its own, but that he may ask for assistance 'later.' 'Later' might be too late for a lot of people, which includes the people who voted this jackass into office.

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Just for fun:

The Montgomery County, Texas, Sheriff's Department became one of the first police agencies in the country to get its very own remotely piloted surveillance drone. At $300,000 it's a tad pricey in this economy, but so what? The police need it.

The SWAT team decided to have a photo op with the drone, which looked as if it was going to be a lot of fun.

Until the drone lost contact and crashed into the team's armored car.

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And, finally, just to remind you there are Beautiful Things still in the world, check out this little photo spread featuring the splendor of Micaela Schaefer's breasts.

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