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Sunday, January 22

South Carolina

Pray for Her Redemption ... Denatured Pig's 'Southern Strategy' Wins Where Civil War Started; Romney Faces Heavy Lifting in Florida; Dotty Grandpa Decides to Go Where He Might Have a Chance; Frothy Mixture Keeps Oozing - Pass the Moist Towelettes, Please

(First, allow me to make an historical digression.

Way back in the day, the Democrats held the Solid South, mainly as a reaction to the fact that the Republicans were in power when the Union trashed the unholy living fuck out of the Confederacy, and served them damned right, too. That all changed when the civil rights movement started up in the Fifties, and Southern Democratic anger hit a rolling boil when the 1965 Civil Rights Act was signed into law by a Democrat.

After watching third-party assholes like George Wallace feed off that anger, Richard Nixon had the idea of the 'Southern Strategy,' deliberately wooing those alienated Southern Democrats. He didn't do a very good job of it, but he laid the groundwork so he gets credit.

Enter Ronald Reagan, with his carefully-scripted talk about states' rights and welfare moms. Most of the so-called Reagan Democrats were those who never forgave Democrats like Truman, Kennedy and Johnson for letting the non-white folk think they were just as good as white. The Reagan Democrats became Republicans in the ensuing years.

Then they became, by and large, Tea Partiers. Go figure.

And thus endeth the lesson.)

However, through all the vicissitudes of recent history, two things have been abundantly clear.

These people are angry. Angry at what they perceive (such perception carefully nurtured by Fox News, the right-wing chattering classes, and conservative politicians) as a central government that doesn't care, angry at minorities sponging off them, and angry that they're paying too much in taxes.

Of course, their anger is misplaced. The Republican Caucus in Washington has done everything it can to obstruct and destroy any hope of improving America's economy, a stultifying 70% of all food stamp recipients are white, and taxes are at their lowest point since the Fifties.

So now we come to South Carolina, the Palmetto State.

The state where the Civil War began.

Willard 'Mitt!' Romney campaigned long and hard in South Carolina, netting the influential endorsement of that state's Governor. Historically, that endorsement indicated who would win the state's primary and convention delegates.

Unfortunately, Romney's not well-liked. He comes across as too stiff, polished and facile, and his assertions that he knows about the working class and poor despite his obvious wealth strikes a very tone-deaf note. Still, he enjoyed a comfortable lead over the rest of the field, including his closest rival, Newt Gingrich.

However, in two stunning debates, Gingrich stole a march on Romney. First, he blew the racist dog-whistle for all it was worth at Juan Williams, who is African-American. The debate audience lapped it up like kittens at a bowl of cream, with one later congratulating Newt for 'putting him in his place.'

The second debate started off with a bang, with Newt ripping thin strips off of CNN's John King for opening the debate with a question about his adultery. Now, you wouldn't think adultery would go down well with the highly moral Christian evangelicals in South Carolina, but while they may hate moral queasiness they hate the idea of the "liberal media elite" even more. Gingrich won that debate in the first two minutes.

Yesterday, South Carolina Republicans voted.

By the end of the night, Newt Gingrich was all like

While Mitt Romney was all like

The secessionists voted for Newt, who beat Romney 41% to 28%, with the rest of the vote going to the second-stringers.

Romney now faces an uphill climb in Florida and the rest of the primary states, with one GOP nabob opining last night that the contest may drag on into May.

Florida Governor Rick Scott, whose popularity is still down there with scabies mites, is now pondering who to endorse. I'm sure that whoever he'll endorse will be tempted to say, "Thanks but no thanks."

It's fast becoming a two-cornered race, but what of the other two corners?

Ron Paul's bypassing Florida, instead deciding to run in the four upcoming caucus states of Colorado, Minnesota, Maine and Nevada. He's going to hit the wall in Nevada, I think, because of all the Mormon money that'll slip across the border from neighboring Utah.

And Rich Santorum? What about him?

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