Ever watched a show called Jersey Shore? It's supposedly aired on MTV, which used to be "Music Television" back when it first showed up and was relevant.
Never seen the show?
Good. Neither have I.
Supposedly it's about a group of shallow, narcissistic and wholly ignorant and poorly-spoken people. A kind of "reality show" (as if 'reality' weren't shitty enough) featuring stellar performances by nuanced actors called 'The Situation' and 'Snooki.'
They couldn't even get that right, since there's supposed to be an 'e' at the end, but I suppose the producers chose it to hearken back to Baby Snooks, the endearingly funny Fanny Brice vaudeville character.
Well, vaudeville's dead, folks.
And 'Snooki' has written a book.
Hmm. Perhaps not 'written,' per se - a more descriptive passage might be 'scrawled on a wall in her own feces and menstrual blood, then transcribed by a brain-dead amanuensis.' Better?
Someone over at Pajiba.com penned a quick review of this load of fetid dingo's kidneys, but I shall copy and paste a few excerpts here:
"He had an okay body. Not fat at all. And naturally toned abs. She could pour a shot of tequila down his belly and slurp it out of his navel without getting splashed in the face."
NO! No, I refuse to post any more than that, or I might end up shivering in a corner.
I've published three novels and write fiction as a hobby, but after reading the review of this 'book' I'm tempted to call myself the reincarnation of John Steinbeck.