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Thursday, August 5

Administration Overly Optimistic about Fate of Spilled Oil

"Great News, Beav!"

"Gee Wally, What's the great news?"
"Well Beav, the Pres and the Gov say that the vast majority of the oil is gone from the Gulf! Isn't that great?"
"Gee Wally, Does that mean it's gone gone, or has it moved to other places where they aren't looking or maybe it moved deep under water down the coast of Florida toward the Keys and is heading up the East Coast? And...and does that mean there's no more problems with the fish and animals, huh Wally?"
"Gosh Beav. You're so cynical. Here the Pres says that things are getting lots better and you're questioning him? Are you a scientist? No, didn't think so. Leave the analysis to the experts. He says most of the oil is gone from the Gulf. That's good enough for me and should be for you, too!"
"But Wally, isn't that like saying your girlfriend might be a little bit pregnant?"
"Shut up and eat your Wheaties, Beav."



Wanted:


Approximately 600,000 square miles of carpet to cover the Gulf of Mexico.
Shag acceptable!
Please contact the White House, Coast Guard or BP for further information.

Must be able to install without causing public disruption.
Prefer installation at night.
Serious inquires only.

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