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Friday, May 1

closure

The nutritional psychiatrist warned me that when I put down the food, the booze, the cigarettes, the caffeine, the antidepressants, the sugar and the diet soda dozens of emotions that I had been stuffing away with these substances would start to surface and I would have to face my demons and deal with my self loathing behavior. So I put down all those substances and am left with just me. Horror of horrors.

I would most likely have to face those who hurt me deeply and begin to forgive them. Forgiveness doesn't mean that what they did to me was alright. It would be an exercise in freeing myself from the pain and the hurt once and for all and moving on. I could do it without confrontation or not.

Me being who I am, I am not one to let things go without confrontation. I need closure.

So my goal for the merry month of May is to forgive myself for allowing myself to enter and remain in destructive relationships with selfish people, learn from it and to somehow forgive them too. Only then will I be able to move on and find peace in my life.

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