Governor (p)Rick Perry of Texas has no need for the Federal government.
He has said so, expressing solidarity with the small percentage of Texans (which must include about 48% of those Texas Republicans polled) who think it might be a good idea if Texas seceded from the United States. In that regard he has stated, along with other Texas politicians and certain brainless dupes, that as a 'sovereign' state, Texas doesn't need Federal stimulus help or anything else from the Feds unless it asks for it.
Wherein lies the problem for (p)Rick Perry.
The new strain of influenza that has come north from Mexico has infected several people in New York, Kansas and Texas. It is a new strain, one that has the potential to become a pandemic.
So now (p)Rick Perry and the rest of the Texas secessionists suddenly discover that they need the United States now.
And that's the latest from Our Irony Desk.