My favorite part has got to be the lightning.
The fake lightning, that is, flashing just off to the side, a cheap 'n' cheesy special effect that momentarily lights up the actors' faces in the most sweetly melodramatic way as they stand there against the dark 'n' stormy backdrop like devout Christian zombies, delivering delightfully weird and wooden lines about being openly terrified of those openly terrifying gay married people.
Yes, it's merely another series of strange, alarmist, deeply homophobic ads from yet another seething anti-gay group you've never heard of (the National Organization for Marriage, or NOM), ads which are running right now in five states in response to two stunning, watershed gay marriage upheavals in Iowa and Vermont, AKA two more states now shamelessly roaring down the highway to hell.
Have you heard? Turns out the married gays are still on the march. No longer merely a coastal phenomenon, undeterred by the economic recession, as yet unsmited by God's redneck fury, these bizarre, relentlessly loving creatures are now invading the heartland. Will the nightmare of love never end?
You just gotta see these strange, hateful little ads........
(as of this writing, the unintentionally hilarious audition reels of the terrible actors reciting the fake lines have been, alas, taken down).
The ads emphasize how the gays are moving closer to Christian homes, businesses, schools and genitalia, and many terrified citizens with souls the size of marbles clearly don't know what to do or how to protect their children -- or their crotches -- from the onslaught because, oh my God, I think I just saw two men kissing on the mouth! Help me, Jesus!continue reading
and a BONUS from Wired.com --Funny Anti–Gay-Marriage Ad Sparks YouTube Revolt
But for sheer hilarity, no parody can match the audition tapes for the ad, in which a series of no-name actors stand in front of a green screen and mostly botch lines like "the clouds are dark and the winds are strong" and "I'm a California doctor who must choose between my faith and my job."
The audition videos, uncovered by the Human Rights Campaign, seem too good to be true. But NOM has helpfully authenticated them by sending DMCA notices to YouTube to get them pulled down. Vimeo.com hosted the banned videos for a while, but now also appears to have folded like an umbrella.
So internet rebels are saving the videos with keepvid.com, and then uploading them back to YouTube when they're pulled.
You can now view the audition tapes at the above link from Wired
(here's Morford's column archive -- be sure to read his latest on the tax hike on cigarettes -- IT'S TO DIE FOR!!!)
I am also hoping for a possible update from Morford on my all time favorite piece of literary genius that he penned back in 2005 about the Dugger Family from Arkansas. God Does Not Want 16 Kids. The Duggers are up to 18 kids now, and have just announced that their eldest is expecting their first grandchild. OH MARK -- THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS!!!