A lot of people have written to me asking how I was doing with my 2009 resolutions to change my life. So here's an update for anyone who cares. If not, skip this post. :)
I vowed to quit smoking. check.
I quit on January 25th after I finished the last pack of the last carton I was working on. One thing I noticed since quitting was that I breathe a lot better and I've gained about a semi-tone a week in my vocal range. I started taking Chantix around the first of the year. Yes, there are psychological side effects. So much so that my doctor had to double the dose of my anti-depressants because I was ready to jump off a building. Now I am just fine. I am staying on the Chantix because I swear to you that I do not physically crave cigarettes at all. I did notice though that smokers smell terrible. yuck! Now I'm embarrassed. Sorry to all of you who had to be near me when I was a smoker. I owe you one.
I vowed to quit beer and diet soda. no check.
Well I mostly quit beer except for about 3 of them and was off soda for a few weeks. I will be off beer and soda for the rest of my life starting on March 9th, so I figured, why start so early, ya know? I will tell you why shortly.
I did not vow to quit drinking. check.
I vowed to lose weight. check. sort of.
I lost 2 pounds.
I was really good for the first 3 weeks of the year and then kind of lost it. I missed carbs so much that I added complex carbs to the menu. I did stay off sugar except for this past Valentine's weekend. Now that the candy is gone, I won't be eating sugar anymore. It's hard to lose weight when you've quit smoking. Most people gain 30 pounds... so losing 2 is pretty good.
I vowed to get my friendships and relationships in order. check. sort of.
I have 2-3 new friendships that are growing nicely, lost one that meant a lot to me and I'm still stuck with someone I wish would go the fuck away already. My other friendships are still in tact and they are very comforting.
I vowed to change my life. Almost check.
I spent the month of January going through 11 medical tests and procedures to find out if I was healthy enough to undergo gastric bypass surgery. I had been thinking about having the surgery since last summer and went through a lot of agonizing and self searching. I had some physical limitations at that time which have gone away. Amazingly, there was nothing wrong with me in January and they checked quite thoroughly. The lung doctor couldn't believe that I was a smoker for 40 years and the heart doctor was amazed too. I was very lucky, grateful and promised not to abuse my body anymore. I feel like I got a second chance at life.
Since I started taking anti-depressants and bipolar drugs again in 2003 after a 2 year hiatus, I have been fighting a battle with my weight. The weight won.
My surgery is March 9th and after that life will never be the same. That's exactly what I wanted. Gastric bypass patients have to give up sugar and carbonated beverages forever. Meals will be tiny forever more. But there is so much more to life than eating, smoking and watching TV. I am thinking of finally buying a sailboat and taking scuba lessons. I am going to travel and hike and swim and surf and ski and just enjoy being alive and outdoors as much as possible.
I want to thank all the people who have actively supported me on this journey. I never would have gotten through the last 2 months without you being there by my side every day as I went through so many ups and downs. You really find out who your friends are when you face life changing decisions. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.