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Sunday, December 7

Obama Vows Not to Smoke in White House

Obama, Gates in Synch on Many Defense Issues

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – Ivy-laced curtain President-elect Barack Obama has vowed to not smoke in the White House, marking a major breakthrough in winning the War on Camels in the newly created “Smoke-Free White House Zone.” The news was heralded as a “breath of fresh air” by First Lady-elect Michelle Obama, who has been on Barry’s case to extinguish his nasty habit.

But Joseph Epstein, a leading antagonist of highbrow snobbery warned that some people will say just about anything to advance their agendas:

"Some of the worst people in the United States have gone to the Harvard or Yale Law Schools . . . since these institutions serve as the grandest receptacles in the land for our good students: those clever, sometimes brilliant, but rarely deep young men and women who, joining furious drive to burning if ultimately empty ambition, will do anything to get ahead."

Aided by old Bush Administration turned new Obama Administration Secretary of Defense, Robert Gates, hiding ashtrays in the Situation Room will no longer be an option. The duo instead pledged to prioritize this pragmatic and bipartisan commitment to defend smoke-free transparency by installing a Hookah lounge in the White House basement next to the bowling alley, instead.

“There’s more than one way to covertly skin a cat” instructed Defense Secretary “In Synch” Gates.

Although Barry admitted "there are times where I've fallen off the wagon," he challenged anyone to defy the legal distinctions behind the definition of the differences between chillum and cigarette smoke:

"I've done a terrific job, under the circumstances, of making myself much health,” "And I think that you will not see any violations of these rules in the White House," he said on Sunday's "Meet the Press" on NBC.

(Academic elites can buy Obama “Smoke-Free Zone” tee-shirts which are on sale now at Wal-Mart with the infamous trademark “making myself much health” emblazoned in green, gold and red letters for $9.95)



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