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Friday, July 25

From the Sturgeon General, Republican Center for Democratic Control, somewhere in Washington, D.C., for immediate release:


Elections are like infections. We seem to be going along ok when we’re all told there’s another bug loose, like the swine or Asian (how appropriate) flu.

It all seems to start about February of even numbered years (there are some exceptions but usually it’s those even numbers again) and reaches near national-demic proportions by that November. Curious, that!

We, the people, are told that we can inoculate ourselves from the disease that plagued us the last 2, 4 or more years by injecting a new anti-biotic into the nation. This new injection usually has a couple of months of experimentation after some research on the cause of the infection. Groups get together telling us that their idea for a cure is the best and that those others could do more damage, so better be safe and not choose any of the others.

Eventually, the possible cure is narrowed to two doses. Again, each claiming ‘its’ cure is best and accepting the other’s might cause catastrophic results.

Fever starts to run high around late September and early October, probably because the incubation period is over by then and the disease is quickly spread by mouth. By then most of us have been infected in one way or another and have been told we MUST have a cure this time to end all the suffering from the last cycle.

By November, we can hardly stand it any longer and must decide which dose will help us best from the stories we’re told by those prescribing their cures. It’s amazing that with few exceptions we are usually pretty close in our judgment as to which will be used over the next cycle. (There are some who won't make a choice for whatever reason. They then have to endure whichever selection was made by all the others who do choose). Lately the one chosen hasn’t seemed to work as well as the other would have. Sometimes it’s painfully obvious that neither will help although we have this ingrained belief that if we choose wisely, things will be just fine…for another cycle.

We’re quickly approaching that time for panic to set in where a decision must be made; a decision that each organization claims will alleviate symptoms and the suffering of the last cycle. Which organization will provide us relief from the plague of the last 8 years? Or will either?

Over the years, these cures have become less and less effective. We may be developing an immunity to the cure or the disease is becoming more and more resistant to treatment. Still, some symptoms can be at least delayed for another cycle. And many of us still have faith that a permanent cure will be found. We even contribute mightily to the organizations in the hope that our money will provide that cure.

Remember, when you’re standing in line to make your decision, the choice of a cure during the last two epidemics wiped out a part of our population. It looks as though one of the selections now available could increase the number of dead among us and the other could find us wishing for another quicker cure.

Either way I doubt this new vaccination will take. Hopefully, we’ll be around to get another chance at a different vaccine in a couple of years.

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