Search This Blog

Tuesday, May 13

Jenna Bush Wedding in Crawford, TX: WTF, Is the White House Too Good for 'em?

- Lovely First Family Posing for Shoot Before Hitting the Near Beer-

-Jenna and Hank taking vows under the Ginormous Paper Mache Cross-

Chain of Fools
(Special thanks to the All-Stars & Joe Cocker)

Crawford, TX The deed is done! One-half of First Daughter, Jenna Bush, got hitched to Hank Hager over Mothers Day weekend on the family’s faux ranch in Crawford Texas without ever getting hit by a twister! Our local spys reveal that President Dubya phoned in special orders to Cheney’s Halliburton ops to put out a hit on any inclement weather patterns within a forty mile radius of the sprawling, near two-thousand acre property and a ginormous cross made out of paper mache or something was erected just in case all hell broke loose. And a good time was had by all! (The Crawford locals click AP clip of course, didn't get invited and aren't so happy with the recession, soaring food and energy costs, the Iraq war, everybody getting locked up in prison, no jobs and stuff.)

Grandpa Bush stood out like a dandy, holding court in a seersucker suit and there was even a black preacher, the groom's proud father who danced with his loving wife, and the Bush family cook who sang “Ava Maria” and “On the Wings of a Snow White Dove” and a mariachi band played during the service. Toasting his daughter Jenna and the groom right at the reception, President Bush began by confessing, “I am an emotional wreck.” Why would he say something like that if it weren't true, one wonders. Anyway, the father of the bride and his daughter then danced to Joe Cocker’s “You Are So Beautiful to Me,” a heartfelt, tearful moment although possibly a little creepy when you think about it -- but then again, this is TEXAS!

All weddings should be so lovely. So, given this first dance, yours truly offers a this incredible Joe Cocker rendition of “Chain of Fools” performed with the fabulous All-Stars. Oooohhh Aretha, eat your heart out…


No comments: