Do you have questions in your life and need guidance? Are you spiritually troubled and don't know where to turn for answers? I think I can help.
For only $20.00 (plus shipping and handling), you can have a hotline to the Big Guy himself with your very own Answer Me Jesus. Prepare yourself for divine guidance to questions such as:
Should I take that new job? (Answer: Let me ask my dad.)
Will the Red Sox win the World Series? (Answer: I died for this?)
Is George Bush actually the Spawn of Satan? (Answer: Yes, my child.)
Also, do you feel left out of all those divinely-inspired eBay items, kitchen cabinets, trees, etc. depicting (variously) Jesus and the Virgin Mary? Then feel free to join in the fun, and potentially rake in the dollars, with your very own Holy Toast Bread Stamp.
Finally, since Blondesense is non-sectarian and entirely non-judgmental about religion, we do not want any of our non-Christian readers to feel left out and bereft of spiritual guidance. Such readers should feel free to avail themselves of the Answer Me Buddha for the same low price.
All together now: Hallelujah!
H/T to my very good friend Kathleen.