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Thursday, August 30

TSA surrealist zen

Xeni Jardin over at boingboing told of a strange experience in LAX yesterday where the TSA stopped travelers in their tracks while walking to the baggage claim area. "STOP WHERE YOU ARE. FREEZE. DO NOT MOVE ," they shouted and no one was allowed to move for 30 minutes. No explanation was given. The commenters there recounted their strange and similar experiences with the TSA. It is surreal and worth a gander.

I don't know if this could happen in NYC airports like JFK and LGA because no one can understand a TSA worker here. I have often asked one of them after being barked at in gibberish, "Huh?" or "What language are you speaking?" and my favorite, "How long have you been in this country.... including today?"

If one of them does know a sentence in "English", they only repeat that sentence no matter what you ask or what you do.
ME: "Where is the ladies room?"
THEM: "own onse leequeed lowed" ("One ounce of liquid is allowed.")
ME:" Am I in the right terminal for ...."
THEM: "own onse leequeed lowed"
ME: "May I see your green card?"
THEM: "OWN ONSE LEEEQUEED!"
The same goes for those who make announcements in NYC airports. "Huh?" "What language was that?" "Why don't they give diction lessons to airport employees?" "What the hell are the qualifications for these jobs?" "Goddammit, I am going to apply for a job with the TSA just to see what the hell is going on here!"

I realize that big brother is using these psy-ops to scare us into submission and all, but seriously, I wonder how dozens of passengers can be obedient and freeze in their places with no explanation, simply by being barked at by TSA employees. It's a freaking joke, man.

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