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Thursday, December 22

WORST. XMAS. EVER.

Okay, here's the poll of the day, just to get all of the angst and anxiety out before The "Big Day", when excavating those feelings are much more likely to have y'all on the roof of the house with a high-powered rifle, making up for all of the inequities of your childhoods/ongoing relationships with relatives/in-laws.

(Consider it my public service moment for the holidays.)

My worst?

Well, believe it or not, it wasn't entirely purposefully inflicted by my "family," although it was their fault (these people should not run ANYTHING, let alone their own business ventures).

"We" went bankrupt, lost the house, the car, everything. Got the eviction notice on my 17th birthday, nailed to the front door of the house.

So, in my senior year of high school (which was never a thrill for me anyway), I was moving-in with my grandmother (definitely a move UP) and trying to deal with my fuckwad parents.

I got a six-dollar hair dryer from the Dollar General Store and a block of commodity cheese.

I shit you not.

And the fireworks that year (as in most) had nothing to do with Chinese gunpowder.

Okay, y'all's turn!

C'mon, dig deep, dredge up all of the horrors, use BlondeSense for instamatic group therapy, and we'll all deal with our relatives with a little less bloodshed.

Keeping in mind, of course, that if said dredging/catharsis should RESULT in actual bloodshed, neither this author nor the operators of BlondeSense are liable for damages, real or imagined or psychological, that should ensue.

This is for shits & giggles, folks, not to ramp y'all up for a mass-murder in a shopping mall, as entertaining a concept as that may be.

So get off yer asses and dig out the worst xmas memories ever, and explain to the world why these fake "holidays" really suck.

And for all of y'all who want to flog me with holly branches for dumping on your precious holiday, just remember that the overweening arrogance of christians (especially at this time of year) is enough to set me off on a multi-state rampage. Don't assume that just because YOU "live" for all of this man-made manipulative marketing HORSESHIT, that the rest of us should be falling in line and worshipping at the same plastic creche.

So NYEH.

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