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Saturday, October 29

The dreaded V word

It doesn't matter that a woman's vagina is part of her anatomy. What matters is that it's such a disgusting word. It rhymes with angina too, a horrible thing to have. Some think that it would be a good idea if women grew up not knowing about that part of their anatomy even though they have to deal with it monthly rather intimately.

The Albertsons chain store pulled the latest issue of Seventeen, a magazine for young women, according to an article in the Seattle Times, from its shelves because it dared, it had the unimitigated gall and the indecency to publish an informative article called, "Vagina 101. An Owners Manual." The article disgracefully illustrates what exactly is "down there" and what's normal and what's not. In this man's world we live in, it's best that women are not aware of such things because after all, they may take their own bodies into their own hands. The hypocrisy of it all is that Albertsons sells condoms openly and also had on its magazine rack an issue of Men's Health magazine boasting "Six Secret Ways to Turn Her On," not to mention Cosmopolitan's tips on how to make your own sex video. Seventeen Magazine has been around for ages. It touches on the usual teenage girl fluff, but it also offers some sage advice or at least gives young women some questions to ponder before they become readers of Cosmo and all hope of their becoming all they could be goes out the window.

You see the not so subtle difference between articles on sex and articles on anatomy is that articles on sex refer to both men and women, with the man, of course, being the important gender, while articles on female anatomy are intellectually and medically informative. Information is a bad thing in today's America. With information under our belts, we could question the morality of war, the secrecy of the vice president of the United States, the inconsistencies in the bible, interpreting the US Constitution, the role of women other than being breeding machines and living sex toys. No one seems to tackle the issue of women being born with brains though. God couldn't have been all that intelligent since he endowed women with brains AND boobs. Hey, we're not paid to think.

This attitude is even held by grown women... mothers! The article says that a mom was interviewed about the article in an Albertson's parking lot. She agreed that the magazine should have been pulled from the shelves as she feels it's her job to teach her daughters about their bodies and was worried about retaining their innocence (read: Ignorance). I wonder if she was planning on covering the topic of how much pubic hair is healthy (something that is covered in the article) or what the actual names for those lower parts are called other than your 'private parts' (which was how my mom addressed them).

The key part of the article according to story is that it helps young women to understand that they are normal... or what is normal. I was in college by the time "Our Bodies, Ourselves" was published. Before that, I didn't really know what to make of all that stuff down there other than the instructions inserted in the tampon box. Only the doctor said the words, vagina or hymen as in, Mrs. Jones, your daughter's hymen has been broken.

We live in interesting times. We can learn from the covers of magazines on any mag rack about germ warfare, nuclear proliferation, flu pandemics, how much god hates fags, corporate profits, terrorist threats in the United States, military strategies, authorized torture, football, steroids, evil dictators, fake tits, Britney's faux life.. but it's just plain indecent for a young woman to understand her icky parts.

Grow the fuck up, America.

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