UPDATE FROM THE ANNTICHRIST/BLONDESENSE PICKUP TRUCK MISSIONS:
I just e-mailed the following out to everybody that's been helping us, from all over the COUNTRY, but I didn't do the math on paper the first time, so here's the corrected total: $1,025. Serious as a heart attack. Throw in the couple hundred that I've spent on gas & incidentals, and we're getting some shit DONE!!!
Y'all amaze me. Continuously.
Okay, here's the update:
Okay, so we have $350 waiting for us in the Western Union system, but the Winn-Dixie in Zachary, while they told us on the PHONE that WU was still up & running until 8P tonight, neglected to mention that they are OUT of Western Union CHECKS and FORMS, SO nobody can get money OUT from there.
So, I've found seven other locations within an hour's drive that are open on Sunday, so we'll have to do that first thing in the morning. If anybody else wants to send money via Western Union, send it to me ANYWHERE IN LOUISIANA, and e-mail me so that I'll know to look for it, who it's from, and how much to ask for. You know how nosy those people are...
We have hooked-up with some great New Orleans people from Second Harvest Food Bank, who have commandeered an empty old Wal-Mart in Baker, and are collecting goods & non-persishable foods, loading it onto donated 18-wheelers (THANK YOU CHIQUITA BANANAS AND FOOD BANK OF NORTH GEORGIA!!!!) and hauling it into New Orleans starting at MIDNIGHT TONIGHT!!!!!
Since we couldn't get the Western Union money today and the PayPal money won't be available until Monday, we gave them the last $100 worth of stuff that we had left over from the St. Francisville shelter last night, and they were so cool about it! We warned 'em that we'd be back, and that we wanted to join the convoy, too!
IN ONE DAY, BTW, WE HAVE GATHERED FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS ON PAYPAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARE ONLINE PEOPLE THE COOLEST MOTHERFUCKERS ON THE PLANET OR WHAT?!??!?!?
Liz is still shaking-down her friends & relatives in NY, MJS & all the other Cali people are emptying their couch cushions, their piggy banks, their FOOD BUDGETS (Eat, Vivek, EAT, dammit!!!), we've got wonderful people all over this country who have trusted us to do the right thing, and sent money like you wouldn't believe!!!!
All totalled, we've distributed about $325 worth of stuff thus far (not counting what I spent on gas, which I paid for), and we've got another SEVEN HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS COMING!!!!!!!!!!! (That's counting the fifty bucks worth of stuff that I threw in.)
YOU PEOPLE ARE ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY AMAZING!!!!!!!
I'd break down and cry if I weren't hopped-up on so much ginseng, and if it wouldn't ruin my Anntichrist S. Coulter "rep."
Of course, this is almost enough to destroy my lifelong misanthropy... almost.
MEANWHILE, WHERE IN THE FUCK IS EXXON?!?!??! THEY'VE GOT FIVE STORES OPEN IN BATON ROUGE, BUT ALL OF THE OTHERS IN THIS AREA ARE EMPTY AND CLOSED!!!!!! I was going to mention how they are the ONLY gas company that has LOWERED their prices right now, but then they started closing their stores!!!!!! Everybody else is gouging up to almost $3.00 a gallon (GEE, THANKS, SHELL AND CHEVRON!!!!! COCKSUCKERS!!!!!), but Exxon has held firm at $2.50 or less!!! Considering that they OWN about TWO THIRDS of LOUISIANA, and they've given CANCER to most of us, it seems like the decent thing for ExxonMobil to do. IF THEY'D JUST KEEP THE FUCKING STORES OPEN!!!!!!
Two most surreal moments thus far: On the way to Baker, in search of Western Union outlets, we got behind a gaudily-painted former schoolbus for something called Teens In Action from ARKANSAS --- they had about six people on the bus, and were headed for Baton Rouge and probably New Orleans to help evacuate New Orleanians!!! People in this very fucking PARISH think that this shit is "GAWD'S JUSTICE" on the "sinful" New Orleans --- people all over this state are turning a blind eye & a deaf ear --- and fucking ARKIES ARE GETTING SHIT DONE!!!!!!!!! CAN YOU FUCKING BELIEVE IT??!?!?! Bill Clinton better get his flabby ass down here soon, or he's gonna find a size-9 in it...
Other surreal thing --- driving back up Hwy 61 to the house, seeing, stopped at a convenience store in Port Hudson, Louisiana, A UNITED CAB!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, so only New Orleans people are going to get this, but United Cab is the ONLY decent cab company in New Orleans, that won't rip you off or drive all the way to east Jesus to drive up the fares. I scared the shit out of Jake by swerving and screaming on sight of a United Cab car, but he recovered...
Anyway, we're turning in early, hitting the road again early in the morning, and we're gonna get that Western Union money, come hell, high water, shit or blood, as The Beastmaster is fond of saying. We'll report more when we've done more.
Thank you all so much, you have no idea how much you have filled our hearts with joy with your generosity and kindness and willingness to help. We have seen the gratitude already on the faces of New Orleanians all over this area already, from the shelter here to the Winn-Dixie to the guys from Second Harvest. You aren't just changing lives, you're SAVING lives. Which beats the fuck out of Pat Robertson's pyramid schemes any fucking day.
I love you all and if you remind me of this later, I'll deny that we ever met.